Prologue
Islam encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily distinguishable by their dress, appearance and behaviour, so that they will be a good example, worthy of the great message that they bring to humanity.
According to the hadith narrated by the great Sahabi Ibn al-Hanzaliyyah, the Prophet (PBUH) told his Companions, when they were travelling to meet some brothers in faith:
"You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make sure that you are dressed well, so that you will stand out among people like an adornment, for Allah (SWT) does not love ugliness."[1]
The Prophet (PBUH) considered an unkempt and careless appearance, and scruffy clothes and furnishings, to be forms of ugliness, which is hated and forbidden by Islam.
Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in particular, is encouraged to be distinct from other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on her, and on her husband, family and children.
The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy she is with her domestic chores and the duties of motherhood. She is keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a good appearance is an indication of how well she understands herself, her Islamic identity, and her mission in life. The outward appearance of a woman cannot be separated from her inner nature: a neat, tidy and clean exterior reflects a noble and decent inner character, both of which go to make up the character of the true Muslim woman.
The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her external appearance and internal nature. She understands that she is composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention it deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment of others. In seeking to strike the right balance, she is following the wise guidance of Islam which encourages her to do so.
How can the Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?
1 - Her Body
Moderation in food and drink
The Muslim woman takes good care of her body, promoting its good health and strength. She is active, not flabby or overweight. So she does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her health and energy. This is in accordance with the guidance of Allah (SWT) in the Qur'an:
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
The Prophet (PBUH) also advised moderation in food and drink:
"There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his stomach, but if he must fill it, the let him allow one-third for food, one-third for drink, and one-third for air."[2]
`Umar (RAA) said:
"Beware of filling your stomachs with food and drink, for it is harmful to the body and causes sickness and laziness in performing prayers. Be moderate in both food and drink, for that is healthier for your bodies and furthest removed from extravagance. Allah (SWT) will hate the fat man (one who revels in a life of luxury), and a man will not be condemned until he favours his desires over his religion."[3]
The Muslim woman also steers clear of drugs and stimulants, especially those which are clearly known to be haram, and she avoids the bad habits that many women have fallen into in societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, such as staying up late at night to waste time in idle pursuits. She goes to sleep early and gets up early to start the day's activities with energy and enthusiasm. She does not weaken her energy with late nights and bad habits; she is always active and efficient, so that her household chores do not exhaust her and she can meet her targets.
She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allah (SWT) than a weak believer, as the Prophet (PBUH) taught, so she always seeks to strengthen her body by means of a healthy lifestyle.
She exercises regularly
The Muslim woman does not forget to maintain her physical fitness and energy by following the healthy practices recommended by Islam. But she is not content only with the natural, healthy diet referred to above: she also follows an organized exercise program, appropriate to her physical condition, weight, age and social status. These exercises give her body agility, beauty, good health, strength and immunity to disease; this will make her more able to carry out her duties, and more fit to fulfil her role in life, whether it be as a wife or mother, young girl or old woman.
Her body and clothes are clean
The Muslim woman who truly follows the teachings of Islam keeps her body and clothes very clean. She bathes frequently, in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH), who advised Muslims to take baths, especially on Fridays:
"Have a bath on Fridays and wash your heads, even if you are not in a state of janabah (impurity, e.g. following marital relations), and wear perfume."[4]
"Whoever attends Friday prayer, man or woman, should take a bath (ghusl)."[5]
The Prophet (PBUH) placed such a great emphasis on cleanliness and bathing that some of the Imams considered performing ghusl before Friday prayer to be obligatory (wajib).
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"It is the duty of every Muslim to take a bath (at least) once every seven days, and to wash his head and body."[6]
Cleanliness is one of the most essential requirements of people, especially women, and one of the clearest indicators of a sound and likeable character. Cleanliness makes a woman more likeable not only to her husband, but also to other women and her relatives.
Imam Ahmad and al-Nisa'i report that Jabir (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to visit us, and saw a man who was wearing dirty clothes. He said, `Could this person not find anything with which to wash his clothes?'"
The Prophet (PBUH) hated to see people come out in public wearing dirty clothes when they were able to clean them; he drew attention to the fact that the Muslim should always be clean, smart and pleasing to look at.
This teaching which is directed at men, is directed even more so at women, who are usually thought of as being more clean, the source of joy and tranquillity in the home. There is no doubt that the woman's deep sense of cleanliness reflects on her home, her husband and her children, because it is by virtue of her concern for cleanliness that they will be clean and tidy.
No researcher, of whatever era or country, can fail to notice that this teaching which encourages cleanliness and bathing, came fifteen hundred years ago, at a time when the world knew next to nothing of such hygienic habits. A thousand years later, the non-Muslim world had still not reached the level of cleanliness that the Muslims had reached.
In her book Min al-riqq ila'l-sayadah, Samihah A. Wirdi says:
"There is no need for us to go back to the time of the Crusades in order to know the level of civilization in Europe at that time. We need go back no further than a few hundred years, to the days of the Ottoman Empire, and compare between the Ottomans and the Europeans to see what level the Ottoman civilization had reached.
"In 1624, Prince Brandeboug wrote the following on the invitations to a banquet that he sent to other princes and nobles: Guests are requested not to plunge their hands up to the elbow in the dishes; not to throw food behind them; not to lick their fingers; not to spit on their plates; and not to blow their noses on the edges of the tablecloths.'"
The author adds:
"These words clearly indicate the level of civilization, culture, knowledge and manners among the Europeans. At the same time, in another part of Europe, the situation was not much different. In the palace of the King of England (George I), the ugly smell emanating from the persons of the King and his family overpowered the grandeur of their fine, lace-edged French clothes. This is what was happening in Europe. Meanwhile in Istanbul, the seat of the khilafah, it is well-known that the European ambassadors who were authorized by the Ottoman state be thrown into baths before they could approach the sultan. Sometime around 1730, during the reign of Sultan Ahmad III, when the Ottoman state entered its political and military decline, the wife of the English ambassador in Istanbul, Lady Montague, wrote many letters which were later published, in which she described the level of cleanliness, good manners and high standards among the Muslims. In one of her memoirs she wrote that the Ottoman princess Hafizah had given her a gift of a towel that had been hand-embroidered; she liked it so much that she could not even bear to wipe her mouth with it. The Europeans were particularly astounded by the fact that the Muslims used to wash their hands before and after every meal. It is enough to read the words of the famous English nurse Florence Nightingale, describing English hospitals in the mid-nineteenth century, where she describes how these hospitals were full of squalor, negligence and moral decay, and the wings of these hospitals were full of sick people who could not help answering the call of nature on their beds . . ."[7]
What a great contrast there is between the refined civilization of Islam and other, human civilizations!
She takes care of her mouth and teeth
The intelligent Muslim woman takes care of her mouth, for no-one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming from it. She does this by cleaning her teeth with a siwak, toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash after every meal. She checks her teeth and visits the dentist at least once a year, even if she does not feel any pain, in order to keep her teeth healthy and strong. She consults otolaryngologists ("ear, nose and throat" doctors) if necessary, so that her breath will remain clean and fresh. This is undoubtedly more befitting for a woman.
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) used to be very diligent in taking care of her teeth: she never neglected to clean them with a siwak, as Bukhari and Muslim reported from a number of the Sahabah (RAA).
Bukhari reported from `Urwah (May Allah be pleased with her) via `Ata':
"We heard `A'ishah the Mother of the Believers cleaning her teeth in the room . . ."[8]
Muslim also reports from `Urwah (May Allah be pleased with her) via `Ata':
"We heard her using the siwak . . ."[9]
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) never woke from sleeping at any time of day or night without cleaning his teeth with a siwak before performing wudu'"[10]
The Prophet's concern for oral hygiene was so great that he said:
"If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden my ummah, I would have ordered them to use the siwak before every prayer."[11]
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was asked what the Prophet (PBUH) used to do first when he came home. She said, "Use siwak."[12]
It is very strange to see that some Muslim women neglect these matters, which are among the most important elements of a woman's character, besides being at the very heart of Islam.
They are among the most important elements of a woman's gentle nature, and they reveal her feminine elegance and beauty. They are also at the heart of Islam because the Prophet (PBUH) urged cleanliness on many occasions, and he detested unpleasant odours and an ugly appearance. He said:
"Whoever eats onions, garlic or leeks should not approach our mosque, because whatever offends the sons of Adam may offend the angels."[13]
The Prophet (PBUH) banned those who had eaten these pungent vegetables from coming anywhere near the mosque, lest the people and the angels be offended by their bad breath, but these smells pale into insignificance beside the stench of dirty clothes, filthy socks, unwashed bodies and unclean mouths that emanates from some careless and unkempt individuals who offend others in gatherings.
She takes care of her hair
The Prophet (PBUH) also taught Muslims to take care of their hair, and to make it look attractive and beautiful, within the limits of Islamic rulings.
This is reported in the hadith quoted by Abu Dawud from Abu Hurayrah (RAA), who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever has hair, let him look after it properly.'"[14]
Looking after one's hair, according to Islamic teaching, involves keeping it clean, combing it, perfuming it, and styling it nicely.
The Prophet (PBUH) did not like people to leave their hair uncombed and unkempt, so that they looked like wild monsters; he likened such ugliness to the appearance of the Shaytan. In al-Muwatta', Imam Malik reports a hadith with a mursal isnad from `Ata' ibn Yassar, who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was in the mosque, when a man with unkempt hair and an untidy beard came in. The Prophet (PBUH) pointed to him, as if indicating to him that he should tidy up his hair and beard. The man went and did so, then returned. The Prophet (PBUH) said, `Is this not better than that any one of you should come with unkempt hair, looking like the Shaytan?'"[15]
The Prophet's likening a man with untidy hair to the Shaytan clearly shows how concerned Islam is with a neat and pleasant appearance, and how opposed it is to scruffiness and ugliness.
The Prophet (PBUH) always took note of people's appearance, and he never saw a scruffily-dressed man with untidy hair but he criticized him for his self-neglect. Imam Ahmad and al-Nisa'i report that Jabir (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to visit us, and he saw an unkempt man whose hair was going in all directions, so he said, `Could he not find anything with which to calm his head?'"[16]
If this is how he Prophet (PBUH) taught men to take care of themselves, then how much more applicable are his teachings to women, for whom beauty and elegance are more befitting, as they are the ones to whom men draw close and seek comfort, tranquillity and happiness in their company! It is obvious to the sensitive Muslim woman that the hair is one of the most important features of a woman's beauty and attractiveness.
Good Appearance
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman is concerned with her clothes and appearance, without going to extremes or making a wanton display of herself. She presents a pleasing appearance to her husband, children, mahram relatives and other Muslim women, and people feel comfortable with her. She does not put them off with an ugly or untidy appearance and she always checks herself and takes care of herself, in accordance with the teachings of Islam, which asks its followers to look good in ways that are permitted.
In his commentary on the ayah:
( Say: Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, cleans and pure, [which He has provided] for sustenance? . . .) (Qur'an 7:32)
Al-Qurtubi said: "Makhul reported from `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her): `A group of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) were waiting at the door for him, so he prepared to go out to meet them. There was a vessel of water in the house, and he peered into it, smoothing his beard and his hair. (`A'ishah said) I asked him,
"O Messenger of Allah, even you do this?" He said, "Yes, when a man goes out to meet his brothers, let him prepare himself properly, for Allah (SWT) is beautiful and loves beauty."'"[17]
The Muslim does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of moderation, avoiding the extremes of either exaggeration or negligence:
( Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly, but hold a just [balance] between those [extremes].) (Qur'an 25:67)
Islam wants its followers, and especially its advocates (da`is), to stand out in gatherings in an attractive fashion, not to appear unsightly or unbearable. Neglecting one's appearance to the extent of being offensive to one's companions in the name of asceticism and humility is not part of Islam. The Prophet (PBUH), who was the epitome of asceticism and humility, used to dress in decent clothes and present a pleasant appearance to his family and companions. He regarded dressing well and looking good to be a demonstration of the Blessings of Allah (SWT):
"Allah (SWT) loves to see the signs His gifts on His servant."[18]
Ibn Sa`d reports in al-Tabaqat (4/346) that Jundub ibn Makith (RAA) said:
"Whenever a delegation came to meet the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), he would wear his best clothes and order his leading Companions to do likewise. I saw the Prophet (PBUH) on the day that the delegation of Kindah came to meet him; he was wearing a Yemeni garment, and Abu Bakr and `Umar were dressed similarly."
Ibn al-Mubarak, Tabarani, al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi and others report that `Umar (RAA) said: "I saw the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ask for a new garment. He put it on, and when it reached his knees he said,
`Praise be to Allah (SWT), Who has given me clothes with which to cover myself and make myself look beautiful in this life.'"[19]
So long as this taking care of one's outward appearance does not go to extremes, then it is part of the beauty that Allah (SWT) has allowed for His servants and encouraged them to adopt:
( O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.
Say, Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, [which He has provided] for sustenance? Say: They are, in the life of this world, for those who believe, [and] purely for them on the Day of Judgement. Thus do We explain the Signs in detail for those who understand.) (Qur'an 7:31-32)
Muslim reports from Ibn Mas`ud (RAA) that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"No-one who has even an atom's-weight of pride in his heart will enter Paradise." A man asked him, "What if a man likes his clothes and shoes to look good?" (Meaning, is this counted as pride?) The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Allah (SWT) is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on other people."[20]
This is the understanding adopted by the Sahabah and those who followed them sincerely. Therefore Imam Abu Hanifah (RAA) always took care to dress well and to ensure that he smelled clean and fresh, and urged others to do likewise. One day he met a man who used to attend his circle, who was dressed in scruffy clothes. He took him to one side and offered him a thousand dirhams with which to smarten himself up. The man told him, "I have money; I do not need this." Abu Hanifah admonished him:
"Have you not heard the hadith, `Allah (SWT) loves to see the signs of His gifts on His servant'? So you have to change yourself, and not appear offensive to your friend."
Naturally, those who call people to Allah (SWT) should be better and smarter in appearance than others, so that they will be better able to attract people and make their message reach they hearts.
Indeed they, unlike others, are required to be like this even if they do not go out and meet people, because those who proclaim the word of Allah (SWT) should take care of their appearance and pay attention to the cleanliness of their bodies, clothes, nails and hair. They should do this even if they are in a state of isolation or retreat, in response to the call of the natural inclination of man (fitrah) which the Prophet (PBUH) told us about and outlined its requirements:
"Five things are part of the fitrah: circumcision, removing the pubic hair, plucking hair from the armpits, cutting the nails, and trimming the moustache."[21]
Taking care of oneself in accordance with this fitrah is something encouraged by Islam and supported by every person of common sense and good taste.
She does not go to extremes of beautification
or make a wanton display of herself Paying attention to one's appearance should not make a Muslim woman fall into the trap of wanton display (tabarruj) and showing her beauty to anyone other than her husband and mahram relatives. She should not upset the balance which is the basis of all Islamic teaching, for the Muslim woman always aims at moderation in all things, and is on the alert to prevent any one aspect of her life from taking over at the expense of another.
She never forgets that Islam, which encourages her to look attractive within the permitted limits, is also the religion that warns her against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her appearance, as the hadith says:
"Wretched is the slave of the dinar, dirham and fancy clothes of velvet and silk! If he is given, he is pleased, and if he is not given, he is displeased." [22]
Our women today, many of whom have been influenced by the international fashion houses to such an extent that a rich women will not wear an outfit more than once, have fallen into that slavery of which the Prophet (PBUH) warned and, as a result, they are trapped in the misery of that senseless enslavement to excessively luxurious clothing and accessories. Such women have deviated from the purpose for which humanity was created in this world
.One of the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have fallen into is the habit of showing off expensive outfits at wedding parties, which have become fashion shows where competition is rife and is taken to extremes far beyond the realms of common sense and moderation. This phenomenon becomes clearest when the bride herself wears all her outfits, which may number as many as ten, one after the other: each time she changes, she comes out and shows it off to the other women present, exactly like the fashion models in the West. It does not even occur to the women among whom this habit is common, that there may be women present who are financially unable to buy such outfits, and who may be feeling depressed and jealous, or even hostile towards the bride and her family, and other rich people. Nothing of this sort would happen if brides were more moderate, and just wore one or two outfits at their wedding parties. This is better than that extravagant showing-off which is contradictory to the balanced, moderate spirit of Islam.
No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herself with the teachings of this great religion is spared and protected from such foolish errors, because she has adopted its principles of moderation.
2 - Her Mind
She takes care of her mind by persuing knowledge
The sensitive Muslim woman takes care of her mind just as she takes care of her body, because the former is no less important than the latter. Long ago, the poet Zuhayr ibn Abi Sulma said:
"A man's tongue is half of him, and the other half is his heart; What is left is nothing more than the image of flesh and blood."[23]
This means that a person is essentially composed of his heart and his tongue, in other words what he thinks and what he says. Hence the importance of taking care of one's mind and supplying it with all kinds of beneficial knowledge is quite clear.
The Muslim woman is responsible just as a man is, so she is also required to seek knowledge, whether it is "religious" or "secular", that will be of benefit to her. When she recites the ayah ( . . . But say, `O my Lord! Advance me in knowledge.') (Qur'an 20:114) and hears the hadith, "Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim,"[24 ]she knows that the teachings of the Qur'an and Sunnah are directed at men and women equally, and that she is also obliged to seek the kinds of knowledge that have been made obligatory for individuals and communities (fard `ayn and fard kifayah) to pursue them from the time that this obligation was made known to the Muslim society.
The Muslim woman understands the high value that has been placed on knowledge since the earliest days of Islam. The women of the Ansar asked the Prophet (PBUH):
"Appoint a special day for us when we can learn from you, for the men have taken all your time and left nothing for us." He told them, "Your time is in the house of so-and-so [one of the women]." So he came to them at that place and taught them there."[25]
The Muslim women had a keen desire for knowledge, and they never felt too shy to ask questions about the teachings (ahkam) of Islam, because they were asking about the truth, and ( Allah is not ashamed [to tell you] the truth) (Qur'an 33:53). Many reports illustrate the confidence and maturity with which the early Muslim posed questions to the Prophet (PBUH), this great teacher, seeking to understand their religion more fully. `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported that Asma' bint Yazid ibn al-Sakan al-Ansariyyah asked the Prophet (PBUH) about performing ghusl after a period. He said,
"Let one of you (who has finished her period) take her water and purify herself properly, then pour water over herself, then take a piece of cloth that has been perfumed with musk, and clean herself with it." Asma' (May Allah be pleased with her) asked, "How should she clean herself?" The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Subhan Allah! You clean yourself with it!" `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) told her in a whisper, "Wipe away the traces of blood."
Asma' also asked him about performing ghusl when one is in a state of janabah. He said,
"You should take your water and purify yourself with it properly, and clean yourself all over, then pour water on your head and rub it so that the water reaches the roots of the hair, then pour water all over yourself."[26]
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said,
"How good are the women of the Ansar! Shyness did not prevent them from understanding their religion properly."[27]
Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, the mother of Anas ibn Malik, came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said,
"O Messenger of Allah, Allah (SWT) is not ashamed (to tell) the truth, so tell me, does a woman have to perform ghusl if she has an erotic dream?" The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Yes, if she sees water (i.e., a discharge)." Umm Salamah covered her face out of shyness, and said, "O Messenger of Allah, could a woman have such a dream?" He said, "Yes, may your right hand be covered with dust, otherwise how could her child resemble her?"[28]
Muslim reports that Umm Sulaym came to the Prophet (PBUH), when `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was with him, and when Umm Sulaym asked this question, `A'ishah said,
"O Umm Sulaym, you have exposed women's secret, may your right hand be rubbed with dust!" The Prophet (PBUH) said to `A'ishah, "Rather your hand should be rubbed with dust; O Umm Sulaym, let a woman perform ghusl if she saw such a dream."[29]
The women of that unique generation never hesitated to strive to understand their religion; they would put questions directly to the Prophet (PBUH) about whatever happened to them. If they doubted a person's opinion (fatwa), or were not convinced of it, they would enquire further until they were sure that they understood the matter properly. This is the attitude of the wise and intelligent woman. This was the attitude of Subay`ah bint al-Harith al-Aslamiyyah, the wife of Sa`d ibn Khawlah, who was from Banu `Amir ibn Lu'ayy and had been present at Badr. He died during the Farewell Pilgrimage; she was pregnant, and gave birth shortly after his death. When her nifas ended, she prepared herself to receive offers of marriage. Abu'l-Sanabil ibn Ba`kak (a man from Banu `Abd al-Dar) came to her and said,
"Why do I see you preparing to receive offers of marriage? By Allah (SWT), you will never get married until four months and tens days have passed." Subay`ah (later) narrated: "When he said this to me, I got dressed and went to see the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) in the evening. I asked him about it, and he told me that my `iddah had ended when I gave birth to my child, and said that I could get married if I wished."[30]
Subay`ah's efforts to understand the shar`i ruling precisely represent a blessing and benefit not only for Subay`ah herself, but for all Muslim women until the Day of Judgement. Her hadith was accepted by the majority of earlier and later scholars, above all the four Imams, who said that the `iddah of a widowed woman, if she is pregnant, lasts until she gives birth, even if she were to give birth so soon after her husband's death that his body had not yet been washed and prepared for burial, and it becomes permissible for her to re-marry.[31] What a great service Subay`ah did to the scholars of the Muslim ummah by seeking to understand the shar`i rulings precisely and tto reach a level of certainty about this issue.
Islam has made the pursuit of knowledge obligatory on women and men alike, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim."[32]
In other words, it is a duty on every person, man or woman, who utters the words of the shahadah, so it comes as no surprise to see Muslim women thirsting for knowledge, devoting themselves to its pursuit. Muslim women of all times and places have understood the importance of seeking beneficial knowledge, and the positive effects this has on their own characters and on their children, families and societies. So they seek knowledge enthusiastically, hoping to learn whatever will benefit them in this world and the next.
What the Muslim woman needs to know
The first thing that the Muslim woman needs to know is how to read the Qur'an properly (with tajwid), and to understand its meaning. Then she should learn something of the sciences of hadith, the sirah of the Prophet (PBUH), and the history of the women of the Sahabah and Tabi`in, who are prominent figures in Islam. She should acquire as much knowledge of fiqh as she needs to ensure that her worship and daily dealings are correct, and she should ensure that she has a sound grasp of the basic principles of her religion.
Then she should direct her attention to her primary specialty in life, which is to take proper care of her house, husband, family and children, for she is the one whom Allah (SWT) has created specially to be a mother and to give tranquillity and happiness to the home. She is the one to whom Islam has given the immense responsibility of raising intelligent and courageous children. Hence there are many proverbs and sayings nowadays which reflect the woman's influence on the success of her husband and children in their working lives, such as, "Look for the woman," "Behind every great man is a woman," and "The one who rocks the cradle with her right hand rocks the world with her left," etc. No woman can do all of that unless she is open-minded and intelligent, strong of personality and pure of heart. So she is more in need of education, correction and guidance in forming her distinct Islamic personality.
It is unwise for women's education to be precisely the same as that of men. There are some matters that concern women only, that men cannot deal with; and there are matters that concern men only, that women cannot deal with. There are things for which women were created, and others for which men were created, and each person should do that for which he or she was created, as the Prophet (PBUH) taught. When the Muslim woman seeks to learn and specialize in some field, she should bear in mind the Islamic teaching regarding her intellectual, psychological and social make-up, so that she will prepare herself to fulfil the basic purpose for which she was created, and will become a productive and constructive member of her family, society and ummah, not an imitation of men, competing with them for work and taking up a position among men, as we see in those societies which do not differentiate between males and females in their educational curricula and employment laws.
Whatever a woman's academic specialty is, she tries to understand it thoroughly and do her work perfectly, in accordance with the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Allah (SWT) loves for any of you, when he does something, to do it well."[33]
Muslim women's achievements in the field of knowledge
The gates of knowledge are open to the Muslim woman, and she may enter whichever of them she chooses, so long as this does not go against her feminine nature, but develops her mind and enhances her emotional growth and maturity. We find that history is full of prominent examples of remarkable women who sought knowledge and became highly proficient.
Foremost among them is the Mother of the Believers `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), who was the primary source of hadith and knowledge of the sunnah, and was the first faqihah in Islam when she was still a young woman no more than nineyears of age.
Imam al-Zuhri said:
"If the knowledge of `A'ishah were to be gathered up and compared to the knowledge of all the other wives of the Prophet (PBUH) and all other women, `A'ishah's knowledge would be greater."[34]
How often did the greatest of the Sahabah refer to her, to hear the final word on matters of the fundamentals of Islam and precise meanings of the Qur'an.
Her knowledge and deep understanding were not restricted only to matters of religion; she was equally distinguished in poetry, literature, history and medicine, and other branches of knowledge that were known at that time. The faqih of the Muslims, `Urwah ibn al-Zubayr, was quoted by his son Hisham as saying:
"I have never seen anybody more knowledgeable in fiqh or medicine or poetry than `A'ishah."[35]
Imam Muslim reports that she heard her nephew al-Qasim ibn Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr (RAA) make a grammatical mistake, when he and his (paternal) cousin were talking in front of her, and she told him off for this mistake. Imam Muslim commented on this incident: "Ibn `Atiq said: `Al-Qasim and I were talking in front of `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), and al-Qasim was one who made frequent mistakes in grammar, as his mother was not an Arab. `A'ishah said to him,
"Why do you not speak like this son of my brother? I know where the problem comes from: he was brought up by his mother, and you were brought up by your mother . . ."[36]
Among the reports in which the books of literature speak of the vast knowledge of `A'ishah is that which describes how `A'ishah bint Talhah was present in the circle of Hisham ibn `Abd al-Malik, where the shaykhs of Banu Umayyah were present. They did not mention any point of Arab history, wars and poetry but she did not contribute to the discussion, and no star appeared but she did not name it. Hisham said to her, "As for the first (i.e., knowledge of history etc.), I find nothing strange (in your knowing about it), but where did you get your knowledge about the stars?" She said, "I learnt it from my (maternal) aunt `A'ishah."[37] `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) had a curious mind and was always eager to learn. Whenever she heard about something she did not know, she would ask about it until she understood it. Her closeness to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) meant that she was like a vessel full of knowledge.
Imam Bukhari reports from Abu Mulaykah that `A'ishah, the wife of the Prophet (PBUH) never heard anything that she did not know, but she would keep going over it until she understood it. The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever is brought to account will be punished." `A'ishah said: "I said, `But does Allah (SWT) not say ( `Soon his account will be taken by an easy reckoning') (Qur'an 84:8)" He said, "That refers to al-`ard (when everyone is brought before Allah (SWT) on the Day of Judgement); but whoever is examined in detail is doomed."[38] In addition to her great knowledge, `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was also very eloquent in her speech. When she spoke, she captured the attention of her audience and moved them deeply. This is what made al-Ahnaf ibn Qays say:
"I heard the speeches of Abu Bakr, `Umar, `Uthman, `Ali and the khulafa' who came after them, but I never heard any speech more eloquent and beautiful than that of `A'ishah." * Musa ibn Talhah said: "I never saw anyone more eloquent and pure in speech than `A'ishah."[39]
Another of these brilliant women were achieved a high level of knowledge was the daughter of Sa`id ibn al-Musayyab, the scholar of his age, who refused to marry his daughter to the khalifah, `Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan, and instead married her to one of his righteous students, `Abdullah ibn Wada`ah. `Abdullah went in to his wife, who was one of the most beautiful of people, and one of the most knowledgeable in Qur'an, Sunnah and the rights and duties of marriage. In the morning, `Abdullah got up and was preparing to go out. His wife asked him, "Where are you going?" He said, "To the circle of your father Sa`id ibn al-Musayyab, so that I may learn." She said, "Sit down; I will teach you what Sa`id knows." For one month, `Abdullah did not attend Sa`id's circle beacuse the knowledge that this beautiful young girl had learned from her father (and was passing on to him) was sufficient.
Another of these prominent female scholars was Fatimah, the daughter of the author of Tuhfat al-fuqaha', `Ala' al-Din al-Samarqandi (d. 539 AH). She was a faqihah and scholar in her own right: she had learned fiqh from her father and had memorized his book al-Tuhfah. Her father married her to his student `Ala' al-Din al-Kasani, who was highly distinguished in the fields of al-usul and al-furu'. He wrote a commentary on Tuhfat al-fuqaha' entitled Bada'i` al-sana'i`, and showed it to his shaykh, who was delighted with it and accepted it as a mahr for his daughter, although he had refused offers of marriage for her from some of the kings of Byzantium.. The fuqaha' of his time said, "He commentated on his Tuhfah and married his daughter." Before her marriage, Fatimah used to issue fatwas along with her father, and the fatwas would be written in her handwriting and that of her father. After she married the author of al-Bada'i`, the fatwas would appear in her handwriting and that of her father and her husband. Her husband would make mistakes, and she would correct them.[40] `A'ishah, the other wives of the Prophet (PBUH), the daughter of Sa`id ibn al-Musayyab, Fatimah al-Samarqandi and other famous women scholars were not something unique or rare among Muslim women. There were innumerable learned women, who studied every branch of knowledge and became prominent in many fields. Ibn Sa`d devoted a chapter of al-Tabaqat to reports of Hadith transmitted by women, in which he mentioned more than seven hundred women who reported Hadith from the Prophet (PBUH), or from the trustworthy narrators among the sahabah; from these women in turn, many prominent scholars and imams also narrated Hadith.
Al-Hafiz ibn `Asakir (d. 571 AH), one of the most reliable narrators of hadith, who was so trustworthy that he was known as hafiz al-ummah, counted eighty-odd women among his shaykhs and teachers.41 If we bear in mind that this scholar never left the eastern part of the Islamic world, and never visited Egypt, North Africa or Andalusia - which were even more crowded with women of knowledge - we will see that the number of learned women he never met was far greater than those from whom he did receive knowledge.
One of the phrases used by scholars in the books of hadith is: "Al-shaykhah al-musnidah al-salihah so-and-so the daughter of so-and-so told me . . ." Among the names mentioned by Imam Bukhari are: Sitt al-Wuzara' Wazirah bint Muhammad ibn `Umar ibn As`ad ibn al-Munajji al-Tunukhiyyah and Karimah bint Ahmad al-Maruziyyah. They are also mentioned by Ibn Hijr al-`Asqallani in the introduction to Fath al-Bari.[42]
The position of these great women is enhanced by the fact that they were sincere and truthful, far above any hint of suspicion or doubt - a status that many men could not reach. This was noted by Imam al-Hafiz al-Dhahabi in Mizan al-I`tidal, where he states that he found four thousand men about whose reports he had doubts, then follows that observation with the comment: "I have never known of any woman who was accused (of being untrustworthy) or whose hadith was rejected."[43]
The modern Muslim woman, looking at the magnificent heritage of women in Islamic history, is filled with the desire for knowledge, as these prominent women only became famous and renowned throughout history by virtue of their knowledge. Their minds can only be developed, and their characters can only grow in wisdom, maturity and insight, through the acquisition of useful, beneficial and correct knowledge.
She is not Superstitious
The knowledgeable Muslim woman avoids all the foolish superstitions and nonsensical myths that tend to fill the minds of ignorant and uneducated women. The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion believes that consulting and accepting the words of fortune-tellers, soothsayers, magicians and other purveyors of superstition and myths is one of the major sins that annul the good deeds of the believer and spell doom for him or her in the Hereafter. Muslim reports from some of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) that he said:
"Whoever goes to a fortune-teller and asks him about anything, his prayers will not be accepted for forty days."[44]
Abu Dawud reports the hadith of Abu Hurayrah in which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever goes to a fortune-teller and believes in what he says, has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad."[45]
She never stops reading and studying
The Muslim woman does not let her household duties and the burdens of motherhood prevent her from reading widely, because she understands that reading is the source which will supply her mind with nourishment and knowledge which it needs in order to flourish and grow.
The Muslim woman who understands that seeking knowledge is a duty required of her by her faith can never stop nourishing her mind with knowledge, no matter how busy she may be with housework or taking care of her children. She steals the odd moment, here and there, to sit down with a good book, or a useful magazine, so that she may broaden her horizons with some useful academic, social or literary knowledge, thus increasing her intellectual abilities.
3 - Her Soul
The Muslim woman does not neglect to polish her soul through worship, dhikr, and reading Qur'an; she never neglects to perform acts of worship at the appointed times. Just as she takes care of her body and mind, she also takes care of her soul, as she understands that the human being is composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and that all three deserve appropriate attention. A person may be distinguished by the balance he or she strikes between body, mind and soul, so that none is cared for at the expense of another. Striking this balance guarantees the development of a sound, mature and moderate character.
She performs acts of worship regularly and purifies her soul
The Muslim woman pays due attention to her soul and polishes it through worship, doing so with a pure and calm approach that will allow the spiritual meanings to penetrate deep into her being. She removes herself from the hustle and bustle of life and concentrates on her worship as much as she is able to. When she prays, she does so with calmness of heart and clearness of mind, so that her soul may be refreshed by the meaning of the words of Qur'an, dhikr and tasbih that she is mentioning. Then she sits alone for a little while, praising and glorifying Allah, and reciting some ayat from His Book, and meditating upon the beautiful meanings of the words she is reciting. She checks her attitude and behaviour every now and then, correcting herself if she has done anything wrong or fallen short in some way. Thus her worship will bring about the desired results of purity of soul, cleansing her of her sins, and freeing her from the bonds of Shaytan whose constant whispering may destroy a person. If she makes a mistake or stumbles from the Straight Path, the true Muslim woman soon puts it right, seeks forgiveness from Allah (SWT), renounces her sin or error, and repents sincerely. This is the attitude of righteous, Allah-fearing Muslim women:
( Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Shaytan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance, when lo! They see aright.) (Qur'an 7:201)
Therefore, the Prophet (PBUH) used to tell his Companions:
"Renew your faith." He was asked, "O Messenger of Allah, how do we renew our faith?" He said, "By frequently repeating la ilaha ill-Allah."[46]
The Muslim woman always seeks the help of Allah (SWT) in strengthening and purifying her soul by constantly worshipping and remembering Allah (SWT), checking herself, and keeping in mind at all times what will please Allah (SWT). So whatever pleases Him, she does, and what angers Him, she refrains from. Thus she will remain on the Straight Path, never deviating from it or doing wrong.
She keeps company with righteous people and joins religious gatherings
In order to attain this high status, the Muslim woman chooses righteous, Allah-fearing friends, who will be true friends and offer sincere advice, and will not betray her in word or deed. Good friends have a great influence in keeping a Muslim woman on the Straight Path, and helping her to develop good habits and refined characteristics. A good friend - in most cases - mirrors one's behaviour and attitudes:
"Do not ask about a man: ask about his friends, / for every friend follows his friends."[47]
Mixing with decent people is an indication of one's good lineage and noble aims in life:
"By mixing with noble people you become one of them,/ so you should never regard anyone else as a friend."[48]
So it is as essential to choose good friends as it is to avoid doing evil:
"If you mix with people, make friends with the best of them,/ do not make friends with the worst of them lest you become like them."[49]
The Muslim woman is keen to attend gatherings where there is discussion of Islam and the greatness of its teachings regarding the individual, family and society, and where those present think of the power of Almighty Allah (SWT) and His bountiful blessings to His creation, and encourage one another to obey His commandments, heed His prohibitions and seek refuge with Him. In such gatherings, hearts are softened, souls are purified, and a person's whole being is filled with the joy of faith.
So `Abdullah ibn Rawahah (RAA), whenever he met one of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH), used to say, "Come, let us believe in our Lord for a while." When the Prophet (PBUH) heard about this, he said, "May Allah have mercy on Ibn Rawahah, for he loves the gatherings that the angels feel proud to attend."[50] The rightly-guided khalifah `Umar al-Faruq (RAA) used to make the effort to take a regular break from his many duties and the burden of his position as ruler. He would take the hand of one or two men and say, "Come on, let us go and increase our faith," then they would remember Allah (SWT).[51] Even `Umar (RAA), who was so righteous and performed so many acts of worship, felt the need to purify his soul from time to time. He would remove himself for a while from the cares and worries of life, to refresh his soul and cleanse his heart. Likewise, Mu`adh ibn Jabal (RAA) would often say to his companions, when they were walking, "Let us sit down and believe for a while." [52] The Muslim is responsible for strengthening his soul and purifying his heart. He must always push himself to attain a higher level, and guard against slipping down:
( By the Soul, and the proportion and order given to it; and by its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right - truly he succeeds that purifies it, and he fails that corrupts it!) (Qur'an 91:7-10)
So the Muslim woman is required to choose with care the best friends and attend the best gatherings, so that she will be in an environment which will increase her faith and taqwa:
( And keep your soul content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Face; and let not your eyes pass beyond them, seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life; nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance of Us, one who follows his own desires, whose case has gone beyond all bounds.) (Qur'an 18: 28)
She frequently repeats du`a's and supplications described in Hadith
Another way in which the Muslim woman may strengthen her soul and connect her heart to Allah (SWT) is by repeating the supplications which it is reported that the Prophet (PBUH) used to say on various occasions. So there is a du`a' for leaving the house, and others for entering the house, starting to eat, finishing a meal, wearing new clothes, lying down in bed, waking up from sleep, saying farewell to a traveller, welcoming a traveller back home, etc. There is hardly anything that the Prophet (PBUH) did that he did not have a du`a' for, through which he asked Allah (SWT) to bless him in his endeavour, protect him from error, guide him to the truth, decree good for him and safeguahim from evil, as is explained in the books of hadith narrated from the Prophet (PBUH).[53] He used to teach these du`a's and adhkar to his Companions, and encouraged them to repeat them at the appropriate times.
The true Muslim woman is keen to learn these du`a's and adhkar, following the example of the Prophet (PBUH) and his distinguished Companions, and she keeps repeating them at the appropriate times, as much as she is able. In this way, her heart will remain focused on Allah (SWT), her soul will be cleansed and purified, and her iman will increase.
The modern Muslim woman is in the utmost need of this spiritual nourishment, to polish her soul and keep her away from the temptations and unhealthy distractions of modern life, that could spell doom for women in societies which have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT) and sent groups of women to Hell, as the Prophet (PBUH) indicated: "I looked into Hell, and saw that the majority of its inhabitants were women."54 The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion looks where she is going and strives to increase her good deeds, so that she may be saved from the terrifying trap into which the devils among mankind and jinn in all times and places try to make women fall.
Footnotes
1 Reported by Abu Dawud, 4/83, in Kitab al-libas, bab ma ja'a fi isbal al-izar; its isnad is sahih.
2 A sahih hasan hadith narrated by Ahmad, 4/132, and Tirmidhi, 4/18, in Kitab al-zuhd, bab ma ja'a fi karahiyyah kathirat al-akl.
3 Kanz al-ummal, 15/433. See also the valuable article on the harmful effects of over-filling the stomach on a person's body, mind and soul, by Muhammad Nazim Nasimi MD in Hadarah al-Islam, Nos. 5, 6, Vol. 15.
4 Fath al-Bari, 2/370, Kitab al-jumu'ah, bab al-dahn li'l-jumu'ah. Note: the command to wear perfume applies to men only; it is forbidden for women to wear perfume when they go out. [Translator]
5 A hadith narrated by 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar and recorded as sahih by Abu 'Awanah, Ibn Khazimah and Ibn Hibban. See also Fath al-Bari, 2/356, Kitab al-jumu'ah, bab fadl al-ghusl yawm al-jumu'ah.
6 Agreed upon. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 2/166, Kitab al-hayd, bab ghusl al-jumu'ah.
7 See Samihah A. Wirdi, Min al-riqq il'al'sayadah, Damla Yayinevi No. 89, p. 28ff.
8 Fath al-Bari, 3/599, Kitab al-'umrah, bab kam a'tamara al-Nabi (r).
9 Sahih Muslim, 8/236, Kitab al-Hajj, bab 'adad 'amar al-Nabi (r) wa zamanihinna.
10 A hasan hadith, narrated by Ahmad (6/160) and Abu Dawud (1/46) in Kitab al-taharah, bab al-siwak.
11 Fath al-Bari, 2/374, Kitab al-jumu'ah, bab al-siwak yawm al-jumu'ah; Sahih Muslim, 3/143, Kitab al-taharah, bab al-siwak.
12 Sahih Muslim, 3/143, Kitab al-taharah, bab al-siwak.
13 Sahih Muslim, 5/50, Kitab al-masajid, bab nahi akil al-thum wa'l-basal 'an hudur al-masjid.
14 Reported by Abu Dawud, 4/108, in Kitab al-tarajjul, bab fi islah al-sha'r; its isnad is hasan.
15 al-Muwatta', 2/949, Kitab al-sha'r, bab islah al-sha'r.
16 A sahih hadith reported by Ahmad (3/357) and al-Nisa'i (8/183) in Kitab al-zinah, bab taskin al-sha'r.
17 See Tafsir al-Qurtubi, 7/197.
18 A hasan hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, 4/206, in Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab athar al-ni'mah 'ala'l-'abd.
19 See Al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib, 3/93, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah.
20 Sa hih Muslim, 2/89, Kitab al-iman, bab tahrim al-kibr.
21Fath al-Bari, 10/334, Kitab al-libas, bab qass al- sharib; Muslim, 3/146, Kitab al-taharah, bab khisal al-fitrah.
22 Fayd al-Bari, 6/81, Kitab al-jihad, bab al-hirasah fi'l-ghazw fi sabil-Allah.
23 See Hashimi (ed.), Jumharah Ash'ar al-'Arab, 1/300, published by Dar al-Qalam, 1406 AH.
24 A hasan hadith narrated by Ibn Majah, 1/81, in al-Muqaddimah, bab fadl al-'ulama' wa'l-hath 'ala talab al-'ilm.
25 Fath al-Bari, 1/195, Kitab al-'ilm, bab hal yuj'al li'l-nisa' yawm 'ala hidah fi'l-'ilm.
26 Fath al-Bari, 1/414, Kitab al-hayd, bab dalk al-mar'ah nafsaha idha tatahharat min al-muhid; Sahih Muslim, 4/15, 16, Kitab al-hayd, bab istihbab isti'mal al-mutaghasilah min al-hayd al-misk.
27 See Fath al-Bari, 1/228, Kitab al-'ilm, bab al-haya' fi'l-'ilm; Sahih Muslim, 4/16, Kitab al-hayd, bab ghusl al-mustahadah wa salatiha.
28 Fath al-Bari, 1/228, Kitab al-'ilm, bab al-haya' fi'l-'ilm; Sahih Muslim, 3/223, 224, Kitab al-hayd, bab wujub al-ghusl 'ala'l-mar'ah bi khuruj al-maniy minha.
29 Sahih Muslim, 3/220, Kitab al-hayd, bab wujub al-ghusl 'ala'lmar'ah bi khuruj al-maniy minha.
30 See Fath al-Bari, 7/310, Kitab al-maghazi, bab istifta' Subay'ah bint al-Harith al-Aslamiyyah; Sahih Muslim, 10/110, Kitab al-talaq, bab inqida' 'iddah al-mutawafa 'anha zawjuha wa ghayruha.
31 See Sharh al-Nawawi li Sahih Muslim, 10/109, Kitab al-talaq, bab inqida' 'iddah al-mutawafa 'anha zawjuha bi wad' al-haml.
32 A hasan hadith, narrated by Ibn Majah, 1/81, in al-Muqaddimah, bab fadl al-'ulama' wa'l-hathth 'ala talab al-'ilm.
33 A hasan hadith reported by al-Bayhaqi in Shu'ab al-iman, 4/334, from 'A'ishah
34 al-Isti'ab, 4/1883; al-Isabah, 8/140.
35 Tarikh al-Tabari: Hawadith 58; al-Samt al-Thamin, 82; al-Isti'ab, 4/1885.
36 Sahih Muslim, 5/47, Kitab al-masajid, bab karahah al-salat bi hadrat al-ta'am.
37 Al-Aghani, 10/57.
38 Fath al-Bari, 1/196, Kitab al-'ilm, bab man sami'a shay'an fa raji' hatta ya'rifuhu.
39 Reported by Tirmidhi, 5/364, in Kitab al-munaqib, bab min fadl 'A'ishah; he said that it is hasan sahih gharib.
40 Tuhfat al-fuqaha', 1/12.
41 Tabaqat al-shafi'iyyah, 4/273.
42 Fath al-Bari, 1/7.
43 Mizan al-i'tidal, 3/395.
44 See Sahih Muslim, 14/227, Kitab al-salam, bab tahrim al-kahanah wa ityan al-kahan.
45 A hasan hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, 4/21, in Kitab al-tibb, bab fi'l-kahin.
46 Reported by Ahmad (2/359) with a jayyid isnad.
47 See 'Adiyy ibn Zayd al-'Ibadi by the author, 172.
48 Anonymous.
49 See 'Adiyy ibn Zayd al-'Ibadi by the author, 172.
50 Reported by Ahmad (3/265) with a hasan isnad.
51 Hayat al-Sahabah, 3/329.
52 Ibid.
53 See, for example, Supplications of the Prophet by Waleed al Essa or Hisnul Muslim (Fortification of the Believer) by Sa’eed al Qahtani
54. Sahih Muslim, 17/53, Kitab al-riqaq, bab akthar ahl al-jannah al-fuqara' wa akthar ahl al-nar al-nisa'.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Respect for Our Daughters
By Sheikh Salman al-Oadah
A person's need to feel import is something perfectly natural, something instilled in human nature. It may well be that this feeling is behind many of humanity's greatest inventions, achievements, and noble acts.
This is why Allah mentions to us that Abraham (peace be upon him) said: “And ordain for me a goodly mention among posterity.” [ Sûrah al-Shu`arā' : 84]
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “If a son of Adam dies, his good works come to an end except for three: charity that keeps providing benefit, knowledge that people still benefit from, and a pious child who supplicates for him.”
This is an indication that people like to feel that they are important, and feel that they will be valued and that their works will endure even after they die. This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) guided us to continuous charity, enduring beneficial knowledge, and a pious son or daughter who prays on our behalf.
Those who belittle and deride others, and who defame their characters, do not profit themselves anything but pain and bitterness. It makes no difference whether they are officials, educators, parents, or anyone else.
Our society is in need of programs to teach people this basic truth. All too many people have inherited from their cultures – and this is a fact for many societies throughout the world of which some are Islamic societies – contempt for women, looking upon the woman her as if she is a creation of a lesser degree, a second class citizen – and in some cases it seems that they treat her more as if the phrase “tenth class” would be more appropriate.
Up to today, some of us are prisoners to this base mindset, as if they had never heard the guidance of the Prophet (peace be upon him) or benefited from the revelation sent down to us by Allah. Such people are still toiling under the legacy of the pre-Islamic times of ignorance, in spite of the fact that in our present age, many banners are being raised, like those of human rights, women's rights, social justice, and equality. It is so bad that some of us look upon these terms and concepts with bewilderment and suspicion.
This is in spite of the fact that the guarantee of human rights that is at the core of our faith is loftier and nobler than anything set down in any declaration of human rights anywhere in the world. This is as true today as it has been in the past.
The problem here with respect to the issue of women – and to that of the young woman in particular – is the result of the coming together with the ideas of the new ignorance with those of the days of ignorance of old.
First of all, people come with all sorts of biases against women, like the notion that women are inherently treacherous. Then you have the fact that in some cultures, the birth of a daughter is received with ignominy and considered a bad omen.
Thirdly, women are still viewed in some circles as not being entitled to have their own opinions or to make their own decisions. There is a saying: “Consult with them but do not heed what they say.” Some people might even have gotten the notion in their heads that this blatant lie is a saying of our Prophet (peace be upon him)!
Then there is the idea that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Here we have another dubious saying: “Were a woman to reach Mars, she would still wind up in the kitchen.”
These concepts, though prevalent, are from the pagan Arab culture of the times of ignorance. These notions are alien to Islam. They are not from the teachings of our Prophet (peace be upon him).
Allah says: “So their Lord accepted their prayer: That I will not waste the work of a worker among you, whether male or female, the one of you being from the other.” [ Sûrah Âl `Imrân : 195]
Allah also says: “Lo! men who surrender unto Allah, and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere (in righteousness) and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble, and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard (their modesty), and men who remember Allah much and women who remember - Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.” [ Sûrah al-Ahzâb : 35]
We can see in these verses how Allah mentions women alongside men, on parity with one another.
Many of our daughters feel cheated and resentful on account of the unequal treatment given to them in comparison with their brothers. When a girl's brother brings home passing marks from school, everyone gets happy he is congratulated, and rewarded with gifts, even if his grades were not all that good. When she comes home with her diploma after having attained the highest academic distinctions, she is told: “That is not important…what good is it to you?” Things like this are commonplace.
Because of such things, the climate becomes conducive to the call of westernization, which is seen by many young women as a source of salvation from the oppression of the societies in which they live. I listened to a speech given in Egypt by an activist for women's liberation. She spoke of such things. Her stance was a reaction to customs and circumstances that exist in her society which have nothing to do with Islam, but which were really the legacy of the former times of ignorance.
A woman, just like a man, needs to have her importance acknowledged, her grievances heard, and her aspirations fulfilled. If these needs are not met for her with her family and at school, she is going to find ways to fulfill them elsewhere. The media today is giving her all sorts of lessons in this area.
Psychology teaches us that, though you are not necessary going to convince others or change their minds by listening to them, you are going to endear them to you and make them more sympathetic. One of the most notable qualities of great and influential people is their ability to listen to others and to show them proper regard.
A delegation of Mecca 's polytheists once came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to object to him. They spoke at length until they had nothing more to say. Only then did the Prophet (peace be upon him) spoke up and ask: “Are you done?” When they told him that they were, he began reciting to them some words from the Qur'ân.
The person who speaks to you may feel in his heart that he has been wronged or that he has been disenfranchised. He may have a point of view that he is passionate about and that he wishes to communicate to you. You have to afford him a proper outlet to air his grievances. If you do not give him a proper hearing, his grievances will transform into a deluge or bring about within him destructive psychological problems.
Experience shows us that major problems that face us as individuals, families, and nations, started off as small problems that were not properly acknowledged and addressed. They grew and until they reached critical mass and exploded. Affording due recognition is a safety valve for both the individual and society. When some problem arises that starts to exert pressure, many people forget that it is possible to contain it, and instead toss more fuel upon the fire.
Listening to others effectively demands mastery of a number of skills, which we can enumerate as follows:
The first of these skills is to be able to summarize the ideas that were brought up in the course of the conversation. After hearing what the other party had to say and speaking your own mind, you are able to summarize the matter, accurately stating the other person's point of view and discussing its implications as well as your arguments. This shows the other person that you hold what he says to be important and that you properly understood what he had to say. In this way, you assure him, that you are not putting words into his mouth or misunderstanding his ideas. He knows that you were paying attention to him.
Too often, we do not give others the chance to speak. When they do speak, we are either incapable of understanding their point of view or of convincing them that we have indeed understood them.
The second skill that we need to master is to be able to enter into the world-view of those to whom we listen and with whom we speak. When we listen to two people having a discussion, we can tell whether their relationship is strained or whether there is friendship and cordiality between them. This comes through to us in their body language, how they face each other, make eye contact, and in their hand gestures.
A mother is able to establish a good relationship with her daughter by placing herself on her daughter's level and by expressing herself with heart and with her body language so that the daughter feels safe and trusting. The mother is able to respond to her daughter's feelings, sensitivities, and appreciate her circumstances. In this way, it is possible for the daughter to become confident and overcome her shyness so that she can speak openly and frankly and divulge her concerns. This, however, will only be if she sees that what she has to say is taken seriously.
Many people do not seek a solution to their problems as much as they are seeking a sympathetic heart that feels their pain and in which they can find solace.
Imagine that you are speaking to someone and that person keeps looking at his watch or answering his cell phone or leafing through the newspaper. Or imagine that he suddenly brings up a totally unrelated topic. Would it really matter to you that for all this time he has been looking at you while you speak?
If we are to place ourselves in the world-view of our daughters, this means that we must be able to abide in our young girl's spirit, her heart, her feelings, and her sensitivities. It means for her to know that we are with her, not against her.
The third good listening skill that we need to master is to be able to guide the conversation in the direction that we want it to go. A girl may not be able to speak openly about everything that concerns her, or she may not know how to express herself about some things. She may become confused or say something by mistake. We must not hold her to her mistake or judge her on account of it. Instead, we must help her to communicate to us what she is trying to say. We need to make her feel that the atmosphere is relaxed and normal.
A mother might find it advantageous to talk about her own experiences when she was young and how she went through a lot of the same things.
The girl might need to speak about something that is troubling her but not be able to bring herself to say everything. For this reason, a mother might take the matter too lightly or accuse the girl of not being able to speak, or call her stupid or simple.
I have heard girls say things like: “No one ever understands what I say.”
She might mean that there is no one in her family who agrees with what she wants. In this, her family could well be in the right. However, she might also mean that no one pays any serious attention to what she has to say, and this is a serious problem.
A person's need to feel import is something perfectly natural, something instilled in human nature. It may well be that this feeling is behind many of humanity's greatest inventions, achievements, and noble acts.
This is why Allah mentions to us that Abraham (peace be upon him) said: “And ordain for me a goodly mention among posterity.” [ Sûrah al-Shu`arā' : 84]
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “If a son of Adam dies, his good works come to an end except for three: charity that keeps providing benefit, knowledge that people still benefit from, and a pious child who supplicates for him.”
This is an indication that people like to feel that they are important, and feel that they will be valued and that their works will endure even after they die. This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) guided us to continuous charity, enduring beneficial knowledge, and a pious son or daughter who prays on our behalf.
Those who belittle and deride others, and who defame their characters, do not profit themselves anything but pain and bitterness. It makes no difference whether they are officials, educators, parents, or anyone else.
Our society is in need of programs to teach people this basic truth. All too many people have inherited from their cultures – and this is a fact for many societies throughout the world of which some are Islamic societies – contempt for women, looking upon the woman her as if she is a creation of a lesser degree, a second class citizen – and in some cases it seems that they treat her more as if the phrase “tenth class” would be more appropriate.
Up to today, some of us are prisoners to this base mindset, as if they had never heard the guidance of the Prophet (peace be upon him) or benefited from the revelation sent down to us by Allah. Such people are still toiling under the legacy of the pre-Islamic times of ignorance, in spite of the fact that in our present age, many banners are being raised, like those of human rights, women's rights, social justice, and equality. It is so bad that some of us look upon these terms and concepts with bewilderment and suspicion.
This is in spite of the fact that the guarantee of human rights that is at the core of our faith is loftier and nobler than anything set down in any declaration of human rights anywhere in the world. This is as true today as it has been in the past.
The problem here with respect to the issue of women – and to that of the young woman in particular – is the result of the coming together with the ideas of the new ignorance with those of the days of ignorance of old.
First of all, people come with all sorts of biases against women, like the notion that women are inherently treacherous. Then you have the fact that in some cultures, the birth of a daughter is received with ignominy and considered a bad omen.
Thirdly, women are still viewed in some circles as not being entitled to have their own opinions or to make their own decisions. There is a saying: “Consult with them but do not heed what they say.” Some people might even have gotten the notion in their heads that this blatant lie is a saying of our Prophet (peace be upon him)!
Then there is the idea that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Here we have another dubious saying: “Were a woman to reach Mars, she would still wind up in the kitchen.”
These concepts, though prevalent, are from the pagan Arab culture of the times of ignorance. These notions are alien to Islam. They are not from the teachings of our Prophet (peace be upon him).
Allah says: “So their Lord accepted their prayer: That I will not waste the work of a worker among you, whether male or female, the one of you being from the other.” [ Sûrah Âl `Imrân : 195]
Allah also says: “Lo! men who surrender unto Allah, and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere (in righteousness) and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble, and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard (their modesty), and men who remember Allah much and women who remember - Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.” [ Sûrah al-Ahzâb : 35]
We can see in these verses how Allah mentions women alongside men, on parity with one another.
Many of our daughters feel cheated and resentful on account of the unequal treatment given to them in comparison with their brothers. When a girl's brother brings home passing marks from school, everyone gets happy he is congratulated, and rewarded with gifts, even if his grades were not all that good. When she comes home with her diploma after having attained the highest academic distinctions, she is told: “That is not important…what good is it to you?” Things like this are commonplace.
Because of such things, the climate becomes conducive to the call of westernization, which is seen by many young women as a source of salvation from the oppression of the societies in which they live. I listened to a speech given in Egypt by an activist for women's liberation. She spoke of such things. Her stance was a reaction to customs and circumstances that exist in her society which have nothing to do with Islam, but which were really the legacy of the former times of ignorance.
A woman, just like a man, needs to have her importance acknowledged, her grievances heard, and her aspirations fulfilled. If these needs are not met for her with her family and at school, she is going to find ways to fulfill them elsewhere. The media today is giving her all sorts of lessons in this area.
Psychology teaches us that, though you are not necessary going to convince others or change their minds by listening to them, you are going to endear them to you and make them more sympathetic. One of the most notable qualities of great and influential people is their ability to listen to others and to show them proper regard.
A delegation of Mecca 's polytheists once came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to object to him. They spoke at length until they had nothing more to say. Only then did the Prophet (peace be upon him) spoke up and ask: “Are you done?” When they told him that they were, he began reciting to them some words from the Qur'ân.
The person who speaks to you may feel in his heart that he has been wronged or that he has been disenfranchised. He may have a point of view that he is passionate about and that he wishes to communicate to you. You have to afford him a proper outlet to air his grievances. If you do not give him a proper hearing, his grievances will transform into a deluge or bring about within him destructive psychological problems.
Experience shows us that major problems that face us as individuals, families, and nations, started off as small problems that were not properly acknowledged and addressed. They grew and until they reached critical mass and exploded. Affording due recognition is a safety valve for both the individual and society. When some problem arises that starts to exert pressure, many people forget that it is possible to contain it, and instead toss more fuel upon the fire.
Listening to others effectively demands mastery of a number of skills, which we can enumerate as follows:
The first of these skills is to be able to summarize the ideas that were brought up in the course of the conversation. After hearing what the other party had to say and speaking your own mind, you are able to summarize the matter, accurately stating the other person's point of view and discussing its implications as well as your arguments. This shows the other person that you hold what he says to be important and that you properly understood what he had to say. In this way, you assure him, that you are not putting words into his mouth or misunderstanding his ideas. He knows that you were paying attention to him.
Too often, we do not give others the chance to speak. When they do speak, we are either incapable of understanding their point of view or of convincing them that we have indeed understood them.
The second skill that we need to master is to be able to enter into the world-view of those to whom we listen and with whom we speak. When we listen to two people having a discussion, we can tell whether their relationship is strained or whether there is friendship and cordiality between them. This comes through to us in their body language, how they face each other, make eye contact, and in their hand gestures.
A mother is able to establish a good relationship with her daughter by placing herself on her daughter's level and by expressing herself with heart and with her body language so that the daughter feels safe and trusting. The mother is able to respond to her daughter's feelings, sensitivities, and appreciate her circumstances. In this way, it is possible for the daughter to become confident and overcome her shyness so that she can speak openly and frankly and divulge her concerns. This, however, will only be if she sees that what she has to say is taken seriously.
Many people do not seek a solution to their problems as much as they are seeking a sympathetic heart that feels their pain and in which they can find solace.
Imagine that you are speaking to someone and that person keeps looking at his watch or answering his cell phone or leafing through the newspaper. Or imagine that he suddenly brings up a totally unrelated topic. Would it really matter to you that for all this time he has been looking at you while you speak?
If we are to place ourselves in the world-view of our daughters, this means that we must be able to abide in our young girl's spirit, her heart, her feelings, and her sensitivities. It means for her to know that we are with her, not against her.
The third good listening skill that we need to master is to be able to guide the conversation in the direction that we want it to go. A girl may not be able to speak openly about everything that concerns her, or she may not know how to express herself about some things. She may become confused or say something by mistake. We must not hold her to her mistake or judge her on account of it. Instead, we must help her to communicate to us what she is trying to say. We need to make her feel that the atmosphere is relaxed and normal.
A mother might find it advantageous to talk about her own experiences when she was young and how she went through a lot of the same things.
The girl might need to speak about something that is troubling her but not be able to bring herself to say everything. For this reason, a mother might take the matter too lightly or accuse the girl of not being able to speak, or call her stupid or simple.
I have heard girls say things like: “No one ever understands what I say.”
She might mean that there is no one in her family who agrees with what she wants. In this, her family could well be in the right. However, she might also mean that no one pays any serious attention to what she has to say, and this is a serious problem.
Beauty Queens Outside and Slobs Inside?
In the West women dress with looks to kill outside the home and save the sweats and t-shirts for inside. Most women will look very beautiful while going outside of the house, but look like a slob inside the house.
The one of them spends at least an hour taking a shower in the morning, putting on makeup, fixing her hair, and making sure she will look snazzy and smell pleasant when she steps out the door.
When this sweetly scented woman steps back in the door, off goes the mini skirt and tight sporty jacket. The make-up is removed and on goes the sweats. When the husband steps in the door he is greeted with complaints and gets to fix his eyes on raggedy clothes and a tired worn out face.
What husband wants to come home to this scenario when he can stay outside and look at thousands of beautiful women that are flaunting their goods.
Some Muslim women have fallen into the same habit the non-Muslim women make. How long do they take to make sure they have the perfect colored scarf to match with the pink furry sweater they may wear that day. How often have they found themselves trying to find the perfect pumps to wear with that new jilbab? How many times have we seen a Muslim woman with perfectly plucked eyebrows and beautiful bright red lipstick with her hijab accenting her face?
Why is it we see our Muslim sister hurrying to get home from a gathering with her friends, her husband following shortly behind. Dinner is not ready, and jeans and t-shirt lie beneath the jilbab to greet her tired husband. The kids are filthy and have not had a nap. What does she say, but Oh, honey I'm sorry I talked too long, I guess tuna fish sandwiches and Campbell's soup will have to do for now.
Why is it dear sister, that you do not try hard to enchant your husband and catch his eye. All it takes is coming home a few hours earlier and preparing the house and putting on some nice clothes. Why not spray a little perfume and dab on a little makeup. Why not make sure there is dinner prepared or something is in the oven which will be ready shortly after your husband arrives? Why is it dear sister, you greet your husband with kitchen clothes and worn out eyes?
Next time, try a little surprise. Make your husband light up when he walks in the door. Wear something nice to catch his eye and say something nice to soften his heart. Make sure your house is clean and your children neat and appealing.
Why not dear sister, work hard to captivate him, as Allah knows best he works his hardest to take care of you.
The one of them spends at least an hour taking a shower in the morning, putting on makeup, fixing her hair, and making sure she will look snazzy and smell pleasant when she steps out the door.
When this sweetly scented woman steps back in the door, off goes the mini skirt and tight sporty jacket. The make-up is removed and on goes the sweats. When the husband steps in the door he is greeted with complaints and gets to fix his eyes on raggedy clothes and a tired worn out face.
What husband wants to come home to this scenario when he can stay outside and look at thousands of beautiful women that are flaunting their goods.
Some Muslim women have fallen into the same habit the non-Muslim women make. How long do they take to make sure they have the perfect colored scarf to match with the pink furry sweater they may wear that day. How often have they found themselves trying to find the perfect pumps to wear with that new jilbab? How many times have we seen a Muslim woman with perfectly plucked eyebrows and beautiful bright red lipstick with her hijab accenting her face?
Why is it we see our Muslim sister hurrying to get home from a gathering with her friends, her husband following shortly behind. Dinner is not ready, and jeans and t-shirt lie beneath the jilbab to greet her tired husband. The kids are filthy and have not had a nap. What does she say, but Oh, honey I'm sorry I talked too long, I guess tuna fish sandwiches and Campbell's soup will have to do for now.
Why is it dear sister, that you do not try hard to enchant your husband and catch his eye. All it takes is coming home a few hours earlier and preparing the house and putting on some nice clothes. Why not spray a little perfume and dab on a little makeup. Why not make sure there is dinner prepared or something is in the oven which will be ready shortly after your husband arrives? Why is it dear sister, you greet your husband with kitchen clothes and worn out eyes?
Next time, try a little surprise. Make your husband light up when he walks in the door. Wear something nice to catch his eye and say something nice to soften his heart. Make sure your house is clean and your children neat and appealing.
Why not dear sister, work hard to captivate him, as Allah knows best he works his hardest to take care of you.
Sisterhood in Islam
As Muslims sisters strive to gain knowledge about their religion and endeavor to increase their Iman, there is one issue of importance that often seems to be neglected. This is the issue of Sisterhood in Islam.
Sisters may greet each other, spend time socializing, give gifts during happy occasions, cook for those who have a new baby, etc., but this is only the surface level of Sisterhood. To understand what this special relationship really means we must go much deeper than that.
We need to go to the level of the heart from which the bonds of Sisterhood emanate. This relationship is very special because it involves a unique type of love; one that cannot be experienced in any other social connection. It is a feeling that is particularly extraordinary for those of us who are revert/converts to Islam.
To really enjoy the beauty of this bond we need to completely comprehend the elements that are involved. A letter has been written to each of us to assist us in this endeavor, Insha-Allah. Let us put this knowledge in our hearts and we will begin to see the seeds of true Sisterhood grow into a beautiful, flowering plant, Insha-Allah.
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Baraktuh
My Dear Sister in Islam:
Insha-Allah, everything is well with you and those close to you. I am writing this letter to let you know how much I care and to help us both gain an understanding of what Sisterhood in Islam really means, Insha-Allah. I care about you because we share something that is more special than the whold world and all that it contains; we share the belief in the Onenesss of Allah (SWT) and the religion that He (SWT) has given to us. This is a gift that transcends any differences we may have in regard to race, color, nationality, culture or language. Being a sister in Islam is one of the many blessings that comes from acceptance of the true path of Allah (SWT). It is also a responsibility that we each have as members of the Muslim Ummah. To fufill our obligation, we first need to understand what is required of us.
This is what the bond of Sisterhood in Islam means to me, based upon the wisdom of Allah and his Prophet Muhammad (SAW),
"...And lower your wing for the believers (be courteous to the fellow-believers)." (Al-Hijr 15:88)
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"None of you has Iman (faith) until he desires for his brother (or sister) Muslim that which he desires for himself (or herself)." (Bukhari and Muslim)
He (SAW) also said,
"The Muslims in their mutual love, kindness and compassion are like the human body where when one of its parts is in agony the entire body feels the pain, both in sleeplessness and fever." (Bukhari and Muslim)
I love you for the sake of Allah (SWT) ...
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"On the Day of Judgement, Allah, the Most High, will announce, 'Where are those who love each other for the sake of My pleasure? This day I am going to shelter them in the shade provided by Me. Today there is no shade except My shade." (Muslim)
I will be sure to tell you of my love, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"If a person loves his brother, he should inform him of this fact." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
I will be merciful and compassionate toward you, Insha-Allah ...
Allah (SWT) says,
"Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against the disbelievers, and merciful among themselves..." (Al-Fath 48:29)
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"Do not be envious of other Muslims; do not overbid at auctions against another Muslim; do not have malice against a Muslim; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him; do not make an offering during a pending transaction. O' servants of Allah, be like brothers (or sisters) with each other. A Muslim is the brother (or sister) of another Muslim; do not hurt him (or her), or look down upon him (or her) or bring shame on him (or her). Piety is a matter of heart (The Prophet (SAW) repeated this thrice). It is enough evil for a person to look down upon his Muslim brother (or sister). The blood, property and honor of a Muslim is inviolable to a Musilm." (Muslim)
I will keep company with you, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"Keep company with a believer only, and let your food be eaten only by the righteous." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
He (SAW) also said,
"A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
I will help you when necessary and I will cover your shortcomings, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"One who helps a fellow Muslim in removing his (or her) difficulty in this world, Allah will remove the former's distress on the Day of Judgement. He who helps to remove the hardship of another, will have his difficulties removed by Allah in this world and in the Hereafter. One who covers the shortcomings of another Muslim, will have his faults covered up in this world and the next by Allah. Allah continues to help a servant so long as he goes on helping his own brother (or sister)." (Muslim)
I will encourage you to the right, Insha-Allah ...
Allah (SWT) says,
"The believers, men and women. are Auliya (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamio Monotheism and all that Islma orders one to do), and forbids (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they offer their prayers perfectly (Iqamat-as-Salat); and give the Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His mercy upon them. Surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (At-Tauba 9:71)
When the Prophet (SAW) instructed,
"Help your (Muslim) brother (or sister) when he commits a wrong and when a wrong is committed against him, someone asked, "O Messenger of Allah, I understand how I can help him if a wrong is committed against him, but how can I help him if he is himself committing a wrong?" At that the Prophet (SAW) answered, "Stopping him from committing the wrong is helping him." (Bukhari)
I will fulfill my minimum duties and beyond, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"A Muslim owes six obligations towards another Muslim: when you meet him (or her), salute him (or her) saying 'Assalamu Alaikum; when he (or she) invites you, accept his (or her) invitation; when he (or she) solicits your advice, advise him (or her) sincerely; when he (or she) sneezes and praises Allah, respond with the supplication Yarhamuk Allah (Allah have mercy on you); when he (or she) falls sick, visit him (or her); on his (or her) death, join his (or her funeral)." (Muslim)
He (SAW) also said,
"When a Muslim visits his (or her) Muslim brother (or sister) who is sick, he (or she) certainly gathers the fruits of Paradise until he (or she) returns (from visiting)." (Muslim)
You should understand, dear sister, that these are only some of the promises that I have made to you and to Allah (SWT), Insha-Allah. I will strive to fufill each of them to the best of my ability, Insha-Allah. Insha-Allah you will do the same for all of your sisters in Islam. This will not only enhance our bounds of Sisterhood, but will also strengthen the fibers of the Muslim Ummah as we acquire and utilize the wisdom of Islam, Insha-Allah. Our ultimate goal is to gain the pleasure of Allah (SWT), as well as His Mercy and Blessings, Insha-Allah. May we both find the true peace that comes with being a Muslim and attaing the highest of rewards: Paradise. Ameen!!!
With true love,
Your Sister in Islam
Walaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Baraktuh
Sisters may greet each other, spend time socializing, give gifts during happy occasions, cook for those who have a new baby, etc., but this is only the surface level of Sisterhood. To understand what this special relationship really means we must go much deeper than that.
We need to go to the level of the heart from which the bonds of Sisterhood emanate. This relationship is very special because it involves a unique type of love; one that cannot be experienced in any other social connection. It is a feeling that is particularly extraordinary for those of us who are revert/converts to Islam.
To really enjoy the beauty of this bond we need to completely comprehend the elements that are involved. A letter has been written to each of us to assist us in this endeavor, Insha-Allah. Let us put this knowledge in our hearts and we will begin to see the seeds of true Sisterhood grow into a beautiful, flowering plant, Insha-Allah.
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Baraktuh
My Dear Sister in Islam:
Insha-Allah, everything is well with you and those close to you. I am writing this letter to let you know how much I care and to help us both gain an understanding of what Sisterhood in Islam really means, Insha-Allah. I care about you because we share something that is more special than the whold world and all that it contains; we share the belief in the Onenesss of Allah (SWT) and the religion that He (SWT) has given to us. This is a gift that transcends any differences we may have in regard to race, color, nationality, culture or language. Being a sister in Islam is one of the many blessings that comes from acceptance of the true path of Allah (SWT). It is also a responsibility that we each have as members of the Muslim Ummah. To fufill our obligation, we first need to understand what is required of us.
This is what the bond of Sisterhood in Islam means to me, based upon the wisdom of Allah and his Prophet Muhammad (SAW),
"...And lower your wing for the believers (be courteous to the fellow-believers)." (Al-Hijr 15:88)
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"None of you has Iman (faith) until he desires for his brother (or sister) Muslim that which he desires for himself (or herself)." (Bukhari and Muslim)
He (SAW) also said,
"The Muslims in their mutual love, kindness and compassion are like the human body where when one of its parts is in agony the entire body feels the pain, both in sleeplessness and fever." (Bukhari and Muslim)
I love you for the sake of Allah (SWT) ...
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"On the Day of Judgement, Allah, the Most High, will announce, 'Where are those who love each other for the sake of My pleasure? This day I am going to shelter them in the shade provided by Me. Today there is no shade except My shade." (Muslim)
I will be sure to tell you of my love, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"If a person loves his brother, he should inform him of this fact." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
I will be merciful and compassionate toward you, Insha-Allah ...
Allah (SWT) says,
"Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against the disbelievers, and merciful among themselves..." (Al-Fath 48:29)
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"Do not be envious of other Muslims; do not overbid at auctions against another Muslim; do not have malice against a Muslim; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him; do not make an offering during a pending transaction. O' servants of Allah, be like brothers (or sisters) with each other. A Muslim is the brother (or sister) of another Muslim; do not hurt him (or her), or look down upon him (or her) or bring shame on him (or her). Piety is a matter of heart (The Prophet (SAW) repeated this thrice). It is enough evil for a person to look down upon his Muslim brother (or sister). The blood, property and honor of a Muslim is inviolable to a Musilm." (Muslim)
I will keep company with you, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"Keep company with a believer only, and let your food be eaten only by the righteous." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
He (SAW) also said,
"A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." (Abu Dawud and Tirmidi)
I will help you when necessary and I will cover your shortcomings, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"One who helps a fellow Muslim in removing his (or her) difficulty in this world, Allah will remove the former's distress on the Day of Judgement. He who helps to remove the hardship of another, will have his difficulties removed by Allah in this world and in the Hereafter. One who covers the shortcomings of another Muslim, will have his faults covered up in this world and the next by Allah. Allah continues to help a servant so long as he goes on helping his own brother (or sister)." (Muslim)
I will encourage you to the right, Insha-Allah ...
Allah (SWT) says,
"The believers, men and women. are Auliya (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamio Monotheism and all that Islma orders one to do), and forbids (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they offer their prayers perfectly (Iqamat-as-Salat); and give the Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His mercy upon them. Surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (At-Tauba 9:71)
When the Prophet (SAW) instructed,
"Help your (Muslim) brother (or sister) when he commits a wrong and when a wrong is committed against him, someone asked, "O Messenger of Allah, I understand how I can help him if a wrong is committed against him, but how can I help him if he is himself committing a wrong?" At that the Prophet (SAW) answered, "Stopping him from committing the wrong is helping him." (Bukhari)
I will fulfill my minimum duties and beyond, Insha-Allah ...
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"A Muslim owes six obligations towards another Muslim: when you meet him (or her), salute him (or her) saying 'Assalamu Alaikum; when he (or she) invites you, accept his (or her) invitation; when he (or she) solicits your advice, advise him (or her) sincerely; when he (or she) sneezes and praises Allah, respond with the supplication Yarhamuk Allah (Allah have mercy on you); when he (or she) falls sick, visit him (or her); on his (or her) death, join his (or her funeral)." (Muslim)
He (SAW) also said,
"When a Muslim visits his (or her) Muslim brother (or sister) who is sick, he (or she) certainly gathers the fruits of Paradise until he (or she) returns (from visiting)." (Muslim)
You should understand, dear sister, that these are only some of the promises that I have made to you and to Allah (SWT), Insha-Allah. I will strive to fufill each of them to the best of my ability, Insha-Allah. Insha-Allah you will do the same for all of your sisters in Islam. This will not only enhance our bounds of Sisterhood, but will also strengthen the fibers of the Muslim Ummah as we acquire and utilize the wisdom of Islam, Insha-Allah. Our ultimate goal is to gain the pleasure of Allah (SWT), as well as His Mercy and Blessings, Insha-Allah. May we both find the true peace that comes with being a Muslim and attaing the highest of rewards: Paradise. Ameen!!!
With true love,
Your Sister in Islam
Walaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Baraktuh
Teaching Children to Memorise the Qur’an
Allah revealed in the Qur’an;
"Allah has favoured the believers by sending them a messenger from among themselves,
to recite His verses to them, and teach them the book."
The Prophet (saws) stated;
"The best of you is he who has learnt the Qur’an and then taught it." (Bukhari)
As we can see, (or should I say read), Qur’an recitation as related by Allah and the Prophet (saws) is very important in Islam. We should illustrate this importance within our home educational routine. The following are some steps that will help facilitate the memorising process.
Before One Begins to memorise
Whether memorising the Qur’an or doing anything for Allah, a most important obligation is to purify the intention and correct the goal. Thus, one’s concern to memorise Qur’an and preserve it must be secured for Allah, for gaining His paradise and attaining His pleasure and for acquiring the great rewards that are reserved for those who recite the Qur’an and memorise it. Reiterate to your children the significance of intention and do not restrict its importance to just Qur’anic memorization.
Being aware that the Qur’an is in fact easy to memorise for the one who desires to do so due to the saying of Allah;
"And we have made the Qur’an easy for remembrance (and understanding),
so there is one that will receive admonition?"
[Qur'an 54:22]
Practical Steps for memorising
Correcting Pronunciation and Recitation
The next step in memorising the Qur’an is to correct the pronunciation. This cannot be fulfilled unless one listens to a good precise reciter or someone who has memorised of the Qur’an. If you are not a good reciter then find someone in your community that is insha'Allah. If you are unable to find anyone then utilize Qur’anic tapes by reputable reciters Insha’Allah. Utilize this opportunity to increase your own memorization Insha’Allah.
The Prophet (saws) learned the Qur’an from Jibreel orally. Also the Messenger (saws) used to recite the Qur’an to Jibreel once in every year - in Ramadan. And in the year that he died, he recited it twice.
Likewise, the Messenger (saws) taught the Qur’an to his Companions orally; and he heard it from them, after the had learned it from him, time and again.
One must set a daily limit for the amount of Qur’an that one wishes to memorise. This limit should be reasonable and possible to fulfil. This teaches goal attainment and also a feeling of completion and daily achievement. Help your children set realistic goals Insha’Allah.
One should resist the temptation to move to a new portion of the Qur’an before perfecting the memorization of the current portion that agrees with the set limit. This is a disciplinary measure that helps one concentrate on one thing at a time, reducing interruption, and enabling one to firmly establish one’s current portion in one’s mind.
Continual Recitation and Review
Once one has corrected their recitation and set their daily limit, one should begin their memorization process by continual recitation and repetition of his daily portion. This will ensure that the portion will be retained within the long-term memory instead of the short-term memory where it can be easily forgotten.
The recitation can be reaffirmed;
In the fard (obligatory) as well as the nafl (optional) prayers
While sitting in the Masjid awaiting the jama’ah prayer
Before going to sleep
While waiting for anything (bus, dentist, etc.)
While riding the bus, car, etc.
In this way, it is possible for a person to practice their memorization even when occupied with other matters, because they are not restricted to just one specific time for memorising the Qur’an. By the end of the day, one will find that their set limit is memorised and firmly established in their mind. Make this repetition enjoyable for the children and not a chore. They should enjoy reciting the Qur’an and not view it as a chore Insha’Allah.
Reciting in a Melodic Tone
It is important that one reads melodically. This is important for the following reasons;
Melodic recitation conforms to the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) who used to recite the Qur’an in a melodious and tranquil manner. The Prophet (saws) stated, "Whoever does not chant the Qur’an (recite it melodiously) is not of us." (Bukhari)
It is pleasing to one’s ears, providing incentive to continue with the memorization.
It helps make one’s memorization firm and strong. The tongue will always return to a specific tone of voice, and would thus detect a mistake whenever the balance or harmony on one’s recitation becomes disordered.
Using the Same Copy of the Qur’an
A memoriser of Qur’an should have a specific mushaf (copy of the Qur’an) from which they read all the time. Give each child their own Qur’an for memorization Insha’Allah.
A person memorises using vision as they do using hearing. The script and form of the ayat, and their places in the mushaf leave an imprint in the mind when they are recited and looked at frequently. The positions of the ayat would be different in different types of mushafs, and the script may be different also. This confuses the memory and makes memorising more difficult.
Understanding is the Way to memorising
An important thing that greatly aids the process of memorising Qur’an is to understand the meaning of the ayat one is memorising, and know how they are linked to each other.
Thus the memoriser should read the tafsir (explanation) of the ayat that they desire to memorise, and should bring their meanings to mind while they are reciting them. This makes it easier for them to remember. Try to establish a daily routine of reading tafsir with your children insha’Allah. Have the readings relate to the ayaat they are currently memorising.
As one completes memorising a full surah (chapter of the Qur’an), they should perfect it by connecting its ayaat together, both in meaning and in the flow of their tongue.
When the ayaat are well linked and perfected, one should be able to recite them almost as easily as they recite al-Fatihah. This only occurs through repeating these ayats frequently and reciting them often.
Reciting to Others
A memoriser should not rely on memorising individually. Rather, they should test their memorization by reciting the ayat to a companion who knows them by heart, or who can follow from the mushaf. It is very common for one to make mistakes in memorising a surah, without realizing it - even when one looks at the mushaf. Reading often races the eyesight; and one may overlook their mistakes while reading from the mushaf. Reciting Qur’an to a knowing companion is a means of avoiding these errors and keeping their mind constantly alert. You as a parent can be this companion, a member in the community, or even a sibling if they are knowledgeable enough to recognize errors.
Constant review of What has Been memorised
The Qur’an is different than any other material that one memorises, whether poetry or prose. It quickly evaporates from one’s mind. Allah’s Messenger (saws) said;
"Guard the Qur’an (in your memory); for by Him in whose Hand is my soul, it slips away faster than tied camels." (Bukhari and Muslim)
No sooner would the Prophet (saws) leave, and they would forget what they had finished memorising, even after a short while, it started slipping away from them - they quickly forget it! Thus, it is necessary for one to follow up on what they have memorised in a constant and careful manner. In this regard, the Messenger (saws) said;
"Verily, the example of a possessor (in memory) of Qur’an is like a possessor of tied camels. If he watches over them carefully, he would keep them, if he lets them loose, they would run away from him." (Bukhari and Muslim)
We must ensure that our children watch over the camels carefully and have an allocated portion of the Qur’an that they constantly read each day. Only with this constant revision, and constant watch, they would retain what they memorised from the Qur’an and protect it from slipping away.
Watching for Analogous Sections of the Qur’an
Various parts of the Qur’an resemble each other in meaning, wording or repetition of ayat. Allah states;
"Allah has sent down the most beautiful of speech, a Book, (parts of it) resembling (others), often repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it. Then their skins and their hearts soften to the remembrance of Allah." [Qur'an 39:23]
The Qur’an consists of more than six thousand ayat. Of those approximately two thousand carry some sort of resemblance to others. The resemblance varies from total coincidence, to a difference in one letter, a word or two, or more.
Thus a good reciter of the Qur’an should direct special attention to the ayat that resemble each other in wording. The excellence of one’s memorization depends on this watchfulness in this regard.
Taking Advantage of the Golden Hours of the Day
The best time of the day to memorise Qur’an is the last part of the night that precedes the fajr (dawn) prayer, or the early morning hours that follows it. At this time, the body is rested and fresh, the mind is clear and sound, the worldly attractions are few and remote, and the blessings abundant.
Taking Advantage of the Golden years of memorising
Successful is he indeed who takes advantage of the best years of memorization, which are approximately from the age of five to twenty-three - these are the golden years of memorising.
We must encourage our children to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity Insha’Allah.
This article was adapted from A Guide for Memorising the Noble Qur’an. English Translation and Compilation by Amjad ibn Muhammad Rafiq. Edited and Supplemented by Muhammad al-Jibali.
"Allah has favoured the believers by sending them a messenger from among themselves,
to recite His verses to them, and teach them the book."
The Prophet (saws) stated;
"The best of you is he who has learnt the Qur’an and then taught it." (Bukhari)
As we can see, (or should I say read), Qur’an recitation as related by Allah and the Prophet (saws) is very important in Islam. We should illustrate this importance within our home educational routine. The following are some steps that will help facilitate the memorising process.
Before One Begins to memorise
Whether memorising the Qur’an or doing anything for Allah, a most important obligation is to purify the intention and correct the goal. Thus, one’s concern to memorise Qur’an and preserve it must be secured for Allah, for gaining His paradise and attaining His pleasure and for acquiring the great rewards that are reserved for those who recite the Qur’an and memorise it. Reiterate to your children the significance of intention and do not restrict its importance to just Qur’anic memorization.
Being aware that the Qur’an is in fact easy to memorise for the one who desires to do so due to the saying of Allah;
"And we have made the Qur’an easy for remembrance (and understanding),
so there is one that will receive admonition?"
[Qur'an 54:22]
Practical Steps for memorising
Correcting Pronunciation and Recitation
The next step in memorising the Qur’an is to correct the pronunciation. This cannot be fulfilled unless one listens to a good precise reciter or someone who has memorised of the Qur’an. If you are not a good reciter then find someone in your community that is insha'Allah. If you are unable to find anyone then utilize Qur’anic tapes by reputable reciters Insha’Allah. Utilize this opportunity to increase your own memorization Insha’Allah.
The Prophet (saws) learned the Qur’an from Jibreel orally. Also the Messenger (saws) used to recite the Qur’an to Jibreel once in every year - in Ramadan. And in the year that he died, he recited it twice.
Likewise, the Messenger (saws) taught the Qur’an to his Companions orally; and he heard it from them, after the had learned it from him, time and again.
One must set a daily limit for the amount of Qur’an that one wishes to memorise. This limit should be reasonable and possible to fulfil. This teaches goal attainment and also a feeling of completion and daily achievement. Help your children set realistic goals Insha’Allah.
One should resist the temptation to move to a new portion of the Qur’an before perfecting the memorization of the current portion that agrees with the set limit. This is a disciplinary measure that helps one concentrate on one thing at a time, reducing interruption, and enabling one to firmly establish one’s current portion in one’s mind.
Continual Recitation and Review
Once one has corrected their recitation and set their daily limit, one should begin their memorization process by continual recitation and repetition of his daily portion. This will ensure that the portion will be retained within the long-term memory instead of the short-term memory where it can be easily forgotten.
The recitation can be reaffirmed;
In the fard (obligatory) as well as the nafl (optional) prayers
While sitting in the Masjid awaiting the jama’ah prayer
Before going to sleep
While waiting for anything (bus, dentist, etc.)
While riding the bus, car, etc.
In this way, it is possible for a person to practice their memorization even when occupied with other matters, because they are not restricted to just one specific time for memorising the Qur’an. By the end of the day, one will find that their set limit is memorised and firmly established in their mind. Make this repetition enjoyable for the children and not a chore. They should enjoy reciting the Qur’an and not view it as a chore Insha’Allah.
Reciting in a Melodic Tone
It is important that one reads melodically. This is important for the following reasons;
Melodic recitation conforms to the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) who used to recite the Qur’an in a melodious and tranquil manner. The Prophet (saws) stated, "Whoever does not chant the Qur’an (recite it melodiously) is not of us." (Bukhari)
It is pleasing to one’s ears, providing incentive to continue with the memorization.
It helps make one’s memorization firm and strong. The tongue will always return to a specific tone of voice, and would thus detect a mistake whenever the balance or harmony on one’s recitation becomes disordered.
Using the Same Copy of the Qur’an
A memoriser of Qur’an should have a specific mushaf (copy of the Qur’an) from which they read all the time. Give each child their own Qur’an for memorization Insha’Allah.
A person memorises using vision as they do using hearing. The script and form of the ayat, and their places in the mushaf leave an imprint in the mind when they are recited and looked at frequently. The positions of the ayat would be different in different types of mushafs, and the script may be different also. This confuses the memory and makes memorising more difficult.
Understanding is the Way to memorising
An important thing that greatly aids the process of memorising Qur’an is to understand the meaning of the ayat one is memorising, and know how they are linked to each other.
Thus the memoriser should read the tafsir (explanation) of the ayat that they desire to memorise, and should bring their meanings to mind while they are reciting them. This makes it easier for them to remember. Try to establish a daily routine of reading tafsir with your children insha’Allah. Have the readings relate to the ayaat they are currently memorising.
As one completes memorising a full surah (chapter of the Qur’an), they should perfect it by connecting its ayaat together, both in meaning and in the flow of their tongue.
When the ayaat are well linked and perfected, one should be able to recite them almost as easily as they recite al-Fatihah. This only occurs through repeating these ayats frequently and reciting them often.
Reciting to Others
A memoriser should not rely on memorising individually. Rather, they should test their memorization by reciting the ayat to a companion who knows them by heart, or who can follow from the mushaf. It is very common for one to make mistakes in memorising a surah, without realizing it - even when one looks at the mushaf. Reading often races the eyesight; and one may overlook their mistakes while reading from the mushaf. Reciting Qur’an to a knowing companion is a means of avoiding these errors and keeping their mind constantly alert. You as a parent can be this companion, a member in the community, or even a sibling if they are knowledgeable enough to recognize errors.
Constant review of What has Been memorised
The Qur’an is different than any other material that one memorises, whether poetry or prose. It quickly evaporates from one’s mind. Allah’s Messenger (saws) said;
"Guard the Qur’an (in your memory); for by Him in whose Hand is my soul, it slips away faster than tied camels." (Bukhari and Muslim)
No sooner would the Prophet (saws) leave, and they would forget what they had finished memorising, even after a short while, it started slipping away from them - they quickly forget it! Thus, it is necessary for one to follow up on what they have memorised in a constant and careful manner. In this regard, the Messenger (saws) said;
"Verily, the example of a possessor (in memory) of Qur’an is like a possessor of tied camels. If he watches over them carefully, he would keep them, if he lets them loose, they would run away from him." (Bukhari and Muslim)
We must ensure that our children watch over the camels carefully and have an allocated portion of the Qur’an that they constantly read each day. Only with this constant revision, and constant watch, they would retain what they memorised from the Qur’an and protect it from slipping away.
Watching for Analogous Sections of the Qur’an
Various parts of the Qur’an resemble each other in meaning, wording or repetition of ayat. Allah states;
"Allah has sent down the most beautiful of speech, a Book, (parts of it) resembling (others), often repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it. Then their skins and their hearts soften to the remembrance of Allah." [Qur'an 39:23]
The Qur’an consists of more than six thousand ayat. Of those approximately two thousand carry some sort of resemblance to others. The resemblance varies from total coincidence, to a difference in one letter, a word or two, or more.
Thus a good reciter of the Qur’an should direct special attention to the ayat that resemble each other in wording. The excellence of one’s memorization depends on this watchfulness in this regard.
Taking Advantage of the Golden Hours of the Day
The best time of the day to memorise Qur’an is the last part of the night that precedes the fajr (dawn) prayer, or the early morning hours that follows it. At this time, the body is rested and fresh, the mind is clear and sound, the worldly attractions are few and remote, and the blessings abundant.
Taking Advantage of the Golden years of memorising
Successful is he indeed who takes advantage of the best years of memorization, which are approximately from the age of five to twenty-three - these are the golden years of memorising.
We must encourage our children to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity Insha’Allah.
This article was adapted from A Guide for Memorising the Noble Qur’an. English Translation and Compilation by Amjad ibn Muhammad Rafiq. Edited and Supplemented by Muhammad al-Jibali.
Teaching the Child Islamic Rules Regarding Puberty
When the child reaches puberty, he becomes fully accountable for his deeds in front of Allah (SWT). It is first and foremost the responsibility of the parents to carry this message to the child.
The parents of the adolescent boy should inform him that the first time he ejaculates he becomes accountable for his actions in front of Allah (SWT), and he should perform the acts of worship in the same way that adult Muslims do.
When the girl is about nine years old, her parents should inform her that the first time she sees blood (menstruation), she becomes accountable for her acts and the worship acts prescribed on the Muslim women are also prescribed on her.
When the child reaches puberty, there are rules that the parents should explain to him, which include:
* If the child has a sexual dream, he does not have to take a bath (ghusl) unless he sees or feels wetness in his clothes or sheets due to sperm ejaculation in the case of the boy, or vaginal discharge in the case of the girl (the type of viscous discharge that commonly occurs after a woman has had orgasm). Such was the answer of the Prophet (SAW) to Khawlah Bint Hakeem, who asked him if a woman should make ghusl when she has a sexual dream. He (SAW) said:
"No ghusl on her unless she has a discharge,
similarly there is not ghusl on the man unless he ejaculates."
[Related by Ahmad and Al-Nasa’i]
* When the child wakes up and sees or feels wetness due to sexual discharge, he/she should perform ghusl even if he/she did not remember having any dream.
* When the boy ejaculates due to sexual arousal, whether voluntary or involuntary, he should perform ghusl. The same rule applies for the girl if she had an orgasm or vaginal discharge.
* Young men and young women who are about to get married should know that during sexual intercourse, as soon as penetration occurs they both should perform ghusl whether there was discharge or not. The Prophet (SAW) said:
"When he sits between her arms and legs, and the two organs touch, and his organ disappears (in her), there should be ghusl, whether he ejaculated or not." (Related by Muslim)
* When the girl does not see any more blood at the end of her menses, she should perform ghusl. The married woman should know that after child birth she should make ghusl as soon as she stops bleeding. The next step is obviously to teach the child how to perform ghusl and the Sunan acts of ghusl. He or she should know the acts that are unlawful to him or her while in a state of sexual impurity. These include:
* During menstruation, or after birth bleeding, a woman is forbidden to pray, fast, enter a mosque unless passing through it, make tawaf (i.e. circumumbulate the Ka’bah or have sexual intercourse, for Allah (SWT) says:
"They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have asexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them until they have purified (from menses and taken a bath)..."
[Al-Baqarah 2:222]
* Men and women who are in a state of sexual impurity (janabah) are prohibited from reading the Quran or touching it before making ghusl. It is not recommended to read the Quran or touch it before ghusl. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) used to recite the Quran under all conditions except when he was in a state of Janaba that is after having sexual intercourse when it was necessary for him to take a bath. They are also forbidden to pray, enter the mosque, or make tawaf.
* The child should learn to inspect his/her clothes and keep them clean from sperm (or vaginal discharge), or in fact, any liquid discharge from the sexual organs.
There is NO evidence whatsoever that says that a woman who is on her period or a woman who is having post-natal bleeding that she can not touch the Qur'an. See The Natural Blood of Women (by Dr, Ameenah Bilal Phillips) for evidence.
Information Taken From Al-Jumuah Magazine Issue 5, Sha’baan 1416, Page 12
The parents of the adolescent boy should inform him that the first time he ejaculates he becomes accountable for his actions in front of Allah (SWT), and he should perform the acts of worship in the same way that adult Muslims do.
When the girl is about nine years old, her parents should inform her that the first time she sees blood (menstruation), she becomes accountable for her acts and the worship acts prescribed on the Muslim women are also prescribed on her.
When the child reaches puberty, there are rules that the parents should explain to him, which include:
* If the child has a sexual dream, he does not have to take a bath (ghusl) unless he sees or feels wetness in his clothes or sheets due to sperm ejaculation in the case of the boy, or vaginal discharge in the case of the girl (the type of viscous discharge that commonly occurs after a woman has had orgasm). Such was the answer of the Prophet (SAW) to Khawlah Bint Hakeem, who asked him if a woman should make ghusl when she has a sexual dream. He (SAW) said:
"No ghusl on her unless she has a discharge,
similarly there is not ghusl on the man unless he ejaculates."
[Related by Ahmad and Al-Nasa’i]
* When the child wakes up and sees or feels wetness due to sexual discharge, he/she should perform ghusl even if he/she did not remember having any dream.
* When the boy ejaculates due to sexual arousal, whether voluntary or involuntary, he should perform ghusl. The same rule applies for the girl if she had an orgasm or vaginal discharge.
* Young men and young women who are about to get married should know that during sexual intercourse, as soon as penetration occurs they both should perform ghusl whether there was discharge or not. The Prophet (SAW) said:
"When he sits between her arms and legs, and the two organs touch, and his organ disappears (in her), there should be ghusl, whether he ejaculated or not." (Related by Muslim)
* When the girl does not see any more blood at the end of her menses, she should perform ghusl. The married woman should know that after child birth she should make ghusl as soon as she stops bleeding. The next step is obviously to teach the child how to perform ghusl and the Sunan acts of ghusl. He or she should know the acts that are unlawful to him or her while in a state of sexual impurity. These include:
* During menstruation, or after birth bleeding, a woman is forbidden to pray, fast, enter a mosque unless passing through it, make tawaf (i.e. circumumbulate the Ka’bah or have sexual intercourse, for Allah (SWT) says:
"They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have asexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them until they have purified (from menses and taken a bath)..."
[Al-Baqarah 2:222]
* Men and women who are in a state of sexual impurity (janabah) are prohibited from reading the Quran or touching it before making ghusl. It is not recommended to read the Quran or touch it before ghusl. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) used to recite the Quran under all conditions except when he was in a state of Janaba that is after having sexual intercourse when it was necessary for him to take a bath. They are also forbidden to pray, enter the mosque, or make tawaf.
* The child should learn to inspect his/her clothes and keep them clean from sperm (or vaginal discharge), or in fact, any liquid discharge from the sexual organs.
There is NO evidence whatsoever that says that a woman who is on her period or a woman who is having post-natal bleeding that she can not touch the Qur'an. See The Natural Blood of Women (by Dr, Ameenah Bilal Phillips) for evidence.
Information Taken From Al-Jumuah Magazine Issue 5, Sha’baan 1416, Page 12
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Status of Woman in Islam
By Hammuda Abdul-Ati, PH.D. from "Islam in focus"
The status of woman in Islam constitutes no problem. The attitude of the Qur'an and the early Muslims bear witness to the fact that woman is, at least, as vital to life as man himself, and that she is not inferior to him nor is she one of the lower species. Had it not been for the impact of foreign cultures and alien influences, this question would have never arisen among the Muslims. The status of woman was taken for granted to be equal to that of man. It was a matter of course, a matter of fact, and no one, then, considered it as a problem at all.
In order to understand what Islam has established for woman, there is no need to deplore her plight in the pre-Islamic era or in the modern would of today. Islam has given woman rights and privileges, which she has never enjoyed under other religious or constitutional systems. This can be understood when the matter is studied as a whole in a comparative manner, rather than partially. The rights and responsibilities of a woman are equal to those of a man but they are not necessarily identical with them. Equality and sameness are two quite different things. This difference is understandable because man and woman are not identical but they are created equals. With this distinction in mind, There is no problem. It is almost impossible to find even two identical men or women.
This distinction between equality and sameness is of paramount importance. Equality is desirable, just, fair; but sameness is not. People are not created identical but they are created equals. With this distinction in mind, there is no room to imagine that woman is inferior to man. There is no ground to assume that she is less important than he just because her rights are not identically the same as his. Had her status been identical with his, she would have been simply a duplicate of him, which she is not. The fact that Islam gives her equal rights - but not identical - shows that it takes her into due consideration, acknowledges her, and recognizes her independent personality.
It is not the tone of Islam that brands woman as the product of the devil or the seed of evil. Nor does the Qur'an place man as the dominant lord of woman who has no choice but to surrender to his dominance. Nor was it Islam that introduced the question of whether or not woman has any soul in her. Never in the history of Islam has any Muslim doubted the human status of woman or her possession of soul and other fine spiritual qualities. Unlike other popular beliefs, Islam does not blame Eve alone for the First Sin. The Qur'an makes it very clear that both Adam and Eve were tempted; that they both sinned; that God's pardon was granted to both after their repentance; and that God addressed them jointly. (2:35-36); 7:19, 27; 20:117-123). In fact the Qur'an gives the impression that Adam was more to blame for that First Sin from which emerged prejudice against woman and suspicion of her deeds. But Islam does not justify such prejudice or suspicion because both Adam and Eve were equally in error, and if we are to blame Eve we should blame Adam as much or even more.
The status of woman in Islam is something unique, something novel, something that has no similarity in any other system. If we look to the Eastern Communist world or to the democratic nations, we find that woman is not really in a happy position. Her status is not enviable. She has to work so hard to live, and sometimes she may be doing the same job that a man does but her wage is less than his. She enjoys a kind of liberty which in some cases amounts to libertinism. To get to where she is nowadays, woman struggled hard for decades and centuries. To gain the right of learning and the freedom of work and earning, she had to offer painful sacrifices and give up many of her natural rights. To establish her status as a human being possessing a soul, she paid heavily. Yet in spite of all these costly sacrifices and painful struggles, she has not acquired what Islam has established by a Divine decree for the Muslim woman.
The rights of woman of modern times were not granted voluntarily or out of kindness to the female. Modern woman reached her present position by force, and not through natural processes or mutual consent or Divine teachings. She had to force her way, and various circumstances came to her aid. Shortage of manpower during wars, pressure of economic needs and requirements of industrial developments forced woman to get out of her home - to work, to learn, to struggle for her livelihood, to appear as an equal to man, to run her race in the course of life side by side with him. She was forced by circumstances and in turn she forced herself through and acquired her new status. Whether all women were pleased with these circumstances being on their side, and whether they are happy and satisfied with the results of this course is a different matter. But the fact remains that whatever rights modern woman enjoys fall short of those of her Muslim counterpart.
What Islam has established for woman is that, which suits her nature, gives her full security and protects her against disgraceful circumstances and uncertain channels of life. We do not need here to elaborate on the status of modern woman and the risks she runs to make her living or establish herself. We do not even need to explore the miseries and setbacks that encircle her as a result of the so-called rights of woman. Nor do we intend to manipulate the situation of many unhappy homes which break because of the very "freedom" and "rights" of which modern woman is proud.
Most women today exercise the right of freedom to go out independently, to work and earn, to pretend to be equal to man, but this, sadly enough, is at the expense of their families. This all known and obvious. What is not known is the status of woman in Islam. An attempt will be made in the following passages to sum up the attitude of Islam with regard to woman.
1. Woman is recognized by Islam as a full and equal partner of man in the procreation of humankind. He is the father; she is the mother, and both are essential for life. Her role is not less vital than his. By this partnership she has an equal share in every aspect; she is entitled to equal rights; she undertakes equal responsibilities, and in her there are as many qualities and as much humanity as there are in her partner. To this equal partner- ship in the reproduction of human kind God says:
O mankind! Verily We have created your from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other...
Qur'an, 49:13; 4:1
2. She is equal to man in bearing personal and common responsibilities and in receiving rewards for her deeds. She is acknowledged as an independent personality, in possession of human qualities and worthy of spiritual aspirations. Her human nature is neither inferior to nor deviant from that of man. Both are members of one another. God says:
And their Lord has accepted (their prayers) and answered them (saying): 'Never will I cause to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female; you are members, one of another...
Qur’an 3:195; 9:71;33:35-36;66:19-2
3. She is equal to man in the pursuit of education and knowledge. When Islam enjoins the seeking of knowledge upon Muslims, it makes no distinction between man and woman. Almost fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad declared that the pursuit of knowledge is incumbent on every Muslim male and female. This declaration was very clear and was implemented by Muslims throughout history.
4. She is entitled to freedom of expression as much as man is. Her sound opinions are taken into consideration and cannot be disregarded just because she happen to belong to the female sex. It is reported in the Qur'an and history that woman not only expressed her opinion freely but also argued and participated in serious discussions with the Prophet himself as well as with other Muslim leaders (Qur'an, 58:1-4; 60:10-12). Besides there were occasions when Muslim women expressed their views on legislative matters of public interest, and stood in opposition to the Caliphs, who then accepted the sound arguments of these women. A specific example took place during the Caliphate of Umar Ibn al-Khattab.
5. Historical records show that women participated in public life with the early Muslims, especially in times of emergencies. Women used to accompany the Muslim armies engaged in battles to nurse the wounded, prepare supplies, serve the warriors, and so on. They were not shut behind iron bars or considered worthless creatures and deprived of souls.
6. Islam grants woman equal rights to contract, to enterprise, to earn and possess independently. Her life, her property, her honour are as sacred as those of man. If she commits any offence, her penalty is no less or more than of man's in a similar case. If she is wronged or harmed, she gets due compensations equal to what a man in her position would get (2:178;4:45, 92-93).
7. Islam does not state these rights in a statistical form and then relax. It has taken all measures to safeguard them and put them into practice as integral articles of Faith. It never tolerates those who are inclined to prejudice against woman or discrimination between man and woman. Time and again, the Qur'an reproaches those who used to believe woman to be inferior to man (16:57-59, 62; 42:47-59; 43:15-19; 53:21-23).
8. Apart from recognition of woman as an independent human being acknowledged as equally essential for the survival of humanity, Islam has given her a share of inheritance. Before Islam, she was not only deprived of that share but was herself considered as property to be inherited by man. Out of that transferable property Islam made an heir, acknowledging the inherent human qualifies in woman. Whether she is a wife or mother, a sister or daughter, she receives a certain share of the deceased kin's property, a share which depends on her degree of relationship to the deceased and the number of heirs. This share is hers, and no one can take it away or disinherit her. Even if the deceased wishes to deprive her by making a will to other relations or in favour of any other cause, the Law will not allow him to do so. Any proprietor is permitted to make his will within the limit of one-third of his property, so he may not affect the rights of his heirs, men and women. In the case of inheritance, the question of quality and sameness is fully applicable. In principle, both man and woman are equally entitled to inherit the property of the deceased relations but the portions they get may vary. In some instances man receives two shares whereas woman gets one only. This no sign of giving preference or supremacy to man over woman. The reasons why man gets more in these particular instances may be classified as follows:
First man, is the person solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his wife, his family and any other needy relations. It is his duty by Law to assume all financial responsibilities and maintain his dependents adequately. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. All financial burdens are borne by him alone.
Secondly, in contrast, woman has no financial responsibilities whatsoever except very little of her personal expenses, the high luxurious things that she likes to have. She is financially secure and provided for. If she is a wife, her husband is the provider; if she is a mother, it is the son; if she is a daughter, it is the father; if she is a sister; it is the brother, and so on. If she has no relations on whom she can depend, then there is no question of inheritance because there is nothing to inherit and there is no one to bequeath anything to her. However, she will not be left to starve, maintenance of such a woman is the responsibility of the society as a whole, the state. She may be given aid or a job to earn her living, and whatever money she makes will be hers. She is not responsible for the maintenance of anybody else besides herself. If there is a man in her position, he would still be responsible for his family and possibly any of his relations who need his help. So, in the hardest situation her financial responsibility is limited, while his is unlimited.
Thirdly, when a woman gets less than a man does, she is not actually deprived of anything that she has worked for. The property inherited is not the result of her earning or her endeavours. It is something coming to them from a neutral source, something additional or extra. It is something that neither man or woman struggled for. It is a sort of aid, and any aid has to be distributed according to the urgent needs and responsibilities especially when the distribution is regulated by the Law of God.
Now, we have a male heir, on one side, burdened with all kinds of financial responsibilities and liabilities. We have, on the other side, a female heir with no financial responsibilities at all or at most with very little of it. In between we have some property and aid to redistribute by way of inheritance. If we deprive the female completely, it would be unjust to her because she is related to the deceased. Likewise, if we always give her a share equal to the man's, it would be unjust to him. So, instead of doing injustice to either side, Islam gives the man a larger portion of the inherited property to help him to meet his family needs and social responsibilities. At the same time, Islam has not forgotten her altogether, but has given her a portion to satisfy her very personal needs. In fact, Islam in this respect is being more kind to her than to him. Here we can say that when taken as a whole the rights of woman are equal to those of man although not necessarily identical (see Qur'an, 4:11-14, 176).
9. In some instances of bearing witness to certain civil con- tracts, two men are required or one man and two women. Again, this is no indication of the woman being inferior to man. It is a measure of securing the rights of the contracting parties, because woman as a rule, is not so experienced in practical life as man. This lack of experience may cause a loss to any party in a given contract. So the Law requires that at least two women should bear witness with one man. if a woman of the witness forgets something, the other one would remind her. Or if she makes an error, due to lack of experience, the other would help to correct her. This is a precautionary measure to guarantee honest transactions and proper dealings between people. In fact, it gives woman a role to play in civil life and helps to establish justice. At any rate, lack of experience in civil life does not necessarily mean that women are inferior to man in her status. Every human being lacks one thing or another, yet no one questions their human status (2:282).
10. Woman enjoys certain privileges of which man is deprived. She is exempt from some religious duties, i.e., prayers and fasting, in her regular periods and at times of confinement. She is exempt from all financial liabilities. As a mother, she enjoys more recognition and higher honour in the sight of God (31:14-15;46:15). The Prophet acknowledged this honour when he declared that Paradise is under the feet of the mothers. She is entitled to three-fourths of the son's love and kindness with one-fourth left for their father. As a wife she is entitled to demand of her prospective husband a suitable dowry that will be her own. She is entitled to complete provision and total maintenance by the husband. She does not have to work or share with her husband the family expenses. She is free to retain, after marriage, whatever she possessed before it, and the husband has no right whatsoever to any of her belongings. As a daughter or sister she is entitled to security and provision by the father and brother respectively. That is her privilege. If she wishes to work or be self-supporting and participate in handling the family responsibilities, she is quite free to do so, provided her integrity and honour are safeguarded.
11. The standing of woman in prayers behind man does not indicate in any sense that she is inferior to him. Woman, as already mentioned, is exempt from attending congregational prayers, which are obligatory on man. But if she does attend she stands in separate lines made up of women exclusively . This is a regulation of discipline in prayers, and not a classification of importance. In men's rows the head of state stands shoulder to shoulder to the pauper. Men of the highest ranks in society stand in prayer side by side with other men of the lowest ranks. The order of lines in prayers is introduced to help every one to concentrate in his meditation. It is very important because Muslim prayers are not simply chanting or the sing-a-song type. They involve actions, motions, standing, bowing, prostration, etc. So if men mix with women in the same lines, it is possible that something disturbing or distracting may happen. The mind will become occupied by something alien to prayer and derailed from the clear path of mediation. The result will be a loss of the purpose of prayers, besides an offence of adultery committed by the eye, because the eye-by looking at forbidden things - can be guilty of adultery as much as the heart itself. Moreover, no Muslim man or woman is allowed during prayers to touch the body of another person of the opposite sex. If men and women stand side by side in prayer they cannot avoid touching each other. Furthermore, when a woman is praying in front of a man or beside him, it is very likely that any part of her dressed body may become uncovered after a certain motion of bowing or prostrating. The man's eye may happen to be looking at the uncovered part, with the result that she will be embarrassed and he will be exposed to distraction or possibly evil thoughts. So, to avoid any embarrassment and distraction to help concentrate on mediation and pure thoughts, to maintain harmony and order among worshippers, to fulfil the true purposes of prayers, Islam has ordained the organization of rows, whereby men stand in front lines, and women behind the children. Anyone with some knowledge of the nature and purpose of Muslim prayers can readily understand the wisdom of organizing the lines of worshippers in this manner.
12. The Muslim woman is always associated with an old tradition known as the "veil". It is Islamic that the woman should beautify herself with the veil of honour, dignity, chastity, purity and integrity. She should refrain from all deeds and gestures that might stir the passions of people other than her legitimate husband or cause evil suspicion of her morality. She is warned not to display her charms or expose her physical attractions before strangers. The veil which she must put on is one that can save her soul from weakness, her mind from indulgence, her eyes from lustful looks, and her personality from demoralization. Islam is most concerned with the integrity of woman, with the safeguarding of her morals and morale and with the protection of her character and personality (Qur'an, 24:30-31).
13. By now it is clear that the status of woman in Islam is extremely high (in comparison to other religions) and realistically suitable to her nature. Her rights and duties are equal to those of man but not necessarily or absolutely identical with them. If she is deprived of one thing in some aspect, she is fully compensated for it with more things in many other aspects. The fact that she belongs to the female sex has no bearing on her human status or independent personality, and it is no basis for justification of prejudice against her or injustice to her person. Islam gives her as much as is required of her. Her rights match beautifully with her duties. The balance between rights and duties is maintained, and no side overweighs the other. The whole status of woman is given clearly in the Qur'anic verse which may be translated as follows:
And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but man have a degree (of advantage as in some cases of inheritance) over them
(Qur’an 2:228)
This degree is not a title of supremacy or an authorization of dominance over her. It is to correspond with the extra responsibilities of man and give him some compensation for his unlimited liabilities. The above mentioned verse is always interpreted in the light of another (4:34).
It is these extra responsibilities that give man a degree over woman in some economic aspects. It is not a higher degree in humanity or in character. Nor is it a dominance of one over the other or suppression of one by the other. It is a distribution of God's abundance according to the needs of the nature of which God is the Maker. And He knows best what is good for woman and what is good for man. God is absolutely true when He declares:
O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, Who created you from a single person, and created of like nature his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. (Qur’an 4:1)
The status of woman in Islam constitutes no problem. The attitude of the Qur'an and the early Muslims bear witness to the fact that woman is, at least, as vital to life as man himself, and that she is not inferior to him nor is she one of the lower species. Had it not been for the impact of foreign cultures and alien influences, this question would have never arisen among the Muslims. The status of woman was taken for granted to be equal to that of man. It was a matter of course, a matter of fact, and no one, then, considered it as a problem at all.
In order to understand what Islam has established for woman, there is no need to deplore her plight in the pre-Islamic era or in the modern would of today. Islam has given woman rights and privileges, which she has never enjoyed under other religious or constitutional systems. This can be understood when the matter is studied as a whole in a comparative manner, rather than partially. The rights and responsibilities of a woman are equal to those of a man but they are not necessarily identical with them. Equality and sameness are two quite different things. This difference is understandable because man and woman are not identical but they are created equals. With this distinction in mind, There is no problem. It is almost impossible to find even two identical men or women.
This distinction between equality and sameness is of paramount importance. Equality is desirable, just, fair; but sameness is not. People are not created identical but they are created equals. With this distinction in mind, there is no room to imagine that woman is inferior to man. There is no ground to assume that she is less important than he just because her rights are not identically the same as his. Had her status been identical with his, she would have been simply a duplicate of him, which she is not. The fact that Islam gives her equal rights - but not identical - shows that it takes her into due consideration, acknowledges her, and recognizes her independent personality.
It is not the tone of Islam that brands woman as the product of the devil or the seed of evil. Nor does the Qur'an place man as the dominant lord of woman who has no choice but to surrender to his dominance. Nor was it Islam that introduced the question of whether or not woman has any soul in her. Never in the history of Islam has any Muslim doubted the human status of woman or her possession of soul and other fine spiritual qualities. Unlike other popular beliefs, Islam does not blame Eve alone for the First Sin. The Qur'an makes it very clear that both Adam and Eve were tempted; that they both sinned; that God's pardon was granted to both after their repentance; and that God addressed them jointly. (2:35-36); 7:19, 27; 20:117-123). In fact the Qur'an gives the impression that Adam was more to blame for that First Sin from which emerged prejudice against woman and suspicion of her deeds. But Islam does not justify such prejudice or suspicion because both Adam and Eve were equally in error, and if we are to blame Eve we should blame Adam as much or even more.
The status of woman in Islam is something unique, something novel, something that has no similarity in any other system. If we look to the Eastern Communist world or to the democratic nations, we find that woman is not really in a happy position. Her status is not enviable. She has to work so hard to live, and sometimes she may be doing the same job that a man does but her wage is less than his. She enjoys a kind of liberty which in some cases amounts to libertinism. To get to where she is nowadays, woman struggled hard for decades and centuries. To gain the right of learning and the freedom of work and earning, she had to offer painful sacrifices and give up many of her natural rights. To establish her status as a human being possessing a soul, she paid heavily. Yet in spite of all these costly sacrifices and painful struggles, she has not acquired what Islam has established by a Divine decree for the Muslim woman.
The rights of woman of modern times were not granted voluntarily or out of kindness to the female. Modern woman reached her present position by force, and not through natural processes or mutual consent or Divine teachings. She had to force her way, and various circumstances came to her aid. Shortage of manpower during wars, pressure of economic needs and requirements of industrial developments forced woman to get out of her home - to work, to learn, to struggle for her livelihood, to appear as an equal to man, to run her race in the course of life side by side with him. She was forced by circumstances and in turn she forced herself through and acquired her new status. Whether all women were pleased with these circumstances being on their side, and whether they are happy and satisfied with the results of this course is a different matter. But the fact remains that whatever rights modern woman enjoys fall short of those of her Muslim counterpart.
What Islam has established for woman is that, which suits her nature, gives her full security and protects her against disgraceful circumstances and uncertain channels of life. We do not need here to elaborate on the status of modern woman and the risks she runs to make her living or establish herself. We do not even need to explore the miseries and setbacks that encircle her as a result of the so-called rights of woman. Nor do we intend to manipulate the situation of many unhappy homes which break because of the very "freedom" and "rights" of which modern woman is proud.
Most women today exercise the right of freedom to go out independently, to work and earn, to pretend to be equal to man, but this, sadly enough, is at the expense of their families. This all known and obvious. What is not known is the status of woman in Islam. An attempt will be made in the following passages to sum up the attitude of Islam with regard to woman.
1. Woman is recognized by Islam as a full and equal partner of man in the procreation of humankind. He is the father; she is the mother, and both are essential for life. Her role is not less vital than his. By this partnership she has an equal share in every aspect; she is entitled to equal rights; she undertakes equal responsibilities, and in her there are as many qualities and as much humanity as there are in her partner. To this equal partner- ship in the reproduction of human kind God says:
O mankind! Verily We have created your from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other...
Qur'an, 49:13; 4:1
2. She is equal to man in bearing personal and common responsibilities and in receiving rewards for her deeds. She is acknowledged as an independent personality, in possession of human qualities and worthy of spiritual aspirations. Her human nature is neither inferior to nor deviant from that of man. Both are members of one another. God says:
And their Lord has accepted (their prayers) and answered them (saying): 'Never will I cause to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female; you are members, one of another...
Qur’an 3:195; 9:71;33:35-36;66:19-2
3. She is equal to man in the pursuit of education and knowledge. When Islam enjoins the seeking of knowledge upon Muslims, it makes no distinction between man and woman. Almost fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad declared that the pursuit of knowledge is incumbent on every Muslim male and female. This declaration was very clear and was implemented by Muslims throughout history.
4. She is entitled to freedom of expression as much as man is. Her sound opinions are taken into consideration and cannot be disregarded just because she happen to belong to the female sex. It is reported in the Qur'an and history that woman not only expressed her opinion freely but also argued and participated in serious discussions with the Prophet himself as well as with other Muslim leaders (Qur'an, 58:1-4; 60:10-12). Besides there were occasions when Muslim women expressed their views on legislative matters of public interest, and stood in opposition to the Caliphs, who then accepted the sound arguments of these women. A specific example took place during the Caliphate of Umar Ibn al-Khattab.
5. Historical records show that women participated in public life with the early Muslims, especially in times of emergencies. Women used to accompany the Muslim armies engaged in battles to nurse the wounded, prepare supplies, serve the warriors, and so on. They were not shut behind iron bars or considered worthless creatures and deprived of souls.
6. Islam grants woman equal rights to contract, to enterprise, to earn and possess independently. Her life, her property, her honour are as sacred as those of man. If she commits any offence, her penalty is no less or more than of man's in a similar case. If she is wronged or harmed, she gets due compensations equal to what a man in her position would get (2:178;4:45, 92-93).
7. Islam does not state these rights in a statistical form and then relax. It has taken all measures to safeguard them and put them into practice as integral articles of Faith. It never tolerates those who are inclined to prejudice against woman or discrimination between man and woman. Time and again, the Qur'an reproaches those who used to believe woman to be inferior to man (16:57-59, 62; 42:47-59; 43:15-19; 53:21-23).
8. Apart from recognition of woman as an independent human being acknowledged as equally essential for the survival of humanity, Islam has given her a share of inheritance. Before Islam, she was not only deprived of that share but was herself considered as property to be inherited by man. Out of that transferable property Islam made an heir, acknowledging the inherent human qualifies in woman. Whether she is a wife or mother, a sister or daughter, she receives a certain share of the deceased kin's property, a share which depends on her degree of relationship to the deceased and the number of heirs. This share is hers, and no one can take it away or disinherit her. Even if the deceased wishes to deprive her by making a will to other relations or in favour of any other cause, the Law will not allow him to do so. Any proprietor is permitted to make his will within the limit of one-third of his property, so he may not affect the rights of his heirs, men and women. In the case of inheritance, the question of quality and sameness is fully applicable. In principle, both man and woman are equally entitled to inherit the property of the deceased relations but the portions they get may vary. In some instances man receives two shares whereas woman gets one only. This no sign of giving preference or supremacy to man over woman. The reasons why man gets more in these particular instances may be classified as follows:
First man, is the person solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his wife, his family and any other needy relations. It is his duty by Law to assume all financial responsibilities and maintain his dependents adequately. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. All financial burdens are borne by him alone.
Secondly, in contrast, woman has no financial responsibilities whatsoever except very little of her personal expenses, the high luxurious things that she likes to have. She is financially secure and provided for. If she is a wife, her husband is the provider; if she is a mother, it is the son; if she is a daughter, it is the father; if she is a sister; it is the brother, and so on. If she has no relations on whom she can depend, then there is no question of inheritance because there is nothing to inherit and there is no one to bequeath anything to her. However, she will not be left to starve, maintenance of such a woman is the responsibility of the society as a whole, the state. She may be given aid or a job to earn her living, and whatever money she makes will be hers. She is not responsible for the maintenance of anybody else besides herself. If there is a man in her position, he would still be responsible for his family and possibly any of his relations who need his help. So, in the hardest situation her financial responsibility is limited, while his is unlimited.
Thirdly, when a woman gets less than a man does, she is not actually deprived of anything that she has worked for. The property inherited is not the result of her earning or her endeavours. It is something coming to them from a neutral source, something additional or extra. It is something that neither man or woman struggled for. It is a sort of aid, and any aid has to be distributed according to the urgent needs and responsibilities especially when the distribution is regulated by the Law of God.
Now, we have a male heir, on one side, burdened with all kinds of financial responsibilities and liabilities. We have, on the other side, a female heir with no financial responsibilities at all or at most with very little of it. In between we have some property and aid to redistribute by way of inheritance. If we deprive the female completely, it would be unjust to her because she is related to the deceased. Likewise, if we always give her a share equal to the man's, it would be unjust to him. So, instead of doing injustice to either side, Islam gives the man a larger portion of the inherited property to help him to meet his family needs and social responsibilities. At the same time, Islam has not forgotten her altogether, but has given her a portion to satisfy her very personal needs. In fact, Islam in this respect is being more kind to her than to him. Here we can say that when taken as a whole the rights of woman are equal to those of man although not necessarily identical (see Qur'an, 4:11-14, 176).
9. In some instances of bearing witness to certain civil con- tracts, two men are required or one man and two women. Again, this is no indication of the woman being inferior to man. It is a measure of securing the rights of the contracting parties, because woman as a rule, is not so experienced in practical life as man. This lack of experience may cause a loss to any party in a given contract. So the Law requires that at least two women should bear witness with one man. if a woman of the witness forgets something, the other one would remind her. Or if she makes an error, due to lack of experience, the other would help to correct her. This is a precautionary measure to guarantee honest transactions and proper dealings between people. In fact, it gives woman a role to play in civil life and helps to establish justice. At any rate, lack of experience in civil life does not necessarily mean that women are inferior to man in her status. Every human being lacks one thing or another, yet no one questions their human status (2:282).
10. Woman enjoys certain privileges of which man is deprived. She is exempt from some religious duties, i.e., prayers and fasting, in her regular periods and at times of confinement. She is exempt from all financial liabilities. As a mother, she enjoys more recognition and higher honour in the sight of God (31:14-15;46:15). The Prophet acknowledged this honour when he declared that Paradise is under the feet of the mothers. She is entitled to three-fourths of the son's love and kindness with one-fourth left for their father. As a wife she is entitled to demand of her prospective husband a suitable dowry that will be her own. She is entitled to complete provision and total maintenance by the husband. She does not have to work or share with her husband the family expenses. She is free to retain, after marriage, whatever she possessed before it, and the husband has no right whatsoever to any of her belongings. As a daughter or sister she is entitled to security and provision by the father and brother respectively. That is her privilege. If she wishes to work or be self-supporting and participate in handling the family responsibilities, she is quite free to do so, provided her integrity and honour are safeguarded.
11. The standing of woman in prayers behind man does not indicate in any sense that she is inferior to him. Woman, as already mentioned, is exempt from attending congregational prayers, which are obligatory on man. But if she does attend she stands in separate lines made up of women exclusively . This is a regulation of discipline in prayers, and not a classification of importance. In men's rows the head of state stands shoulder to shoulder to the pauper. Men of the highest ranks in society stand in prayer side by side with other men of the lowest ranks. The order of lines in prayers is introduced to help every one to concentrate in his meditation. It is very important because Muslim prayers are not simply chanting or the sing-a-song type. They involve actions, motions, standing, bowing, prostration, etc. So if men mix with women in the same lines, it is possible that something disturbing or distracting may happen. The mind will become occupied by something alien to prayer and derailed from the clear path of mediation. The result will be a loss of the purpose of prayers, besides an offence of adultery committed by the eye, because the eye-by looking at forbidden things - can be guilty of adultery as much as the heart itself. Moreover, no Muslim man or woman is allowed during prayers to touch the body of another person of the opposite sex. If men and women stand side by side in prayer they cannot avoid touching each other. Furthermore, when a woman is praying in front of a man or beside him, it is very likely that any part of her dressed body may become uncovered after a certain motion of bowing or prostrating. The man's eye may happen to be looking at the uncovered part, with the result that she will be embarrassed and he will be exposed to distraction or possibly evil thoughts. So, to avoid any embarrassment and distraction to help concentrate on mediation and pure thoughts, to maintain harmony and order among worshippers, to fulfil the true purposes of prayers, Islam has ordained the organization of rows, whereby men stand in front lines, and women behind the children. Anyone with some knowledge of the nature and purpose of Muslim prayers can readily understand the wisdom of organizing the lines of worshippers in this manner.
12. The Muslim woman is always associated with an old tradition known as the "veil". It is Islamic that the woman should beautify herself with the veil of honour, dignity, chastity, purity and integrity. She should refrain from all deeds and gestures that might stir the passions of people other than her legitimate husband or cause evil suspicion of her morality. She is warned not to display her charms or expose her physical attractions before strangers. The veil which she must put on is one that can save her soul from weakness, her mind from indulgence, her eyes from lustful looks, and her personality from demoralization. Islam is most concerned with the integrity of woman, with the safeguarding of her morals and morale and with the protection of her character and personality (Qur'an, 24:30-31).
13. By now it is clear that the status of woman in Islam is extremely high (in comparison to other religions) and realistically suitable to her nature. Her rights and duties are equal to those of man but not necessarily or absolutely identical with them. If she is deprived of one thing in some aspect, she is fully compensated for it with more things in many other aspects. The fact that she belongs to the female sex has no bearing on her human status or independent personality, and it is no basis for justification of prejudice against her or injustice to her person. Islam gives her as much as is required of her. Her rights match beautifully with her duties. The balance between rights and duties is maintained, and no side overweighs the other. The whole status of woman is given clearly in the Qur'anic verse which may be translated as follows:
And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but man have a degree (of advantage as in some cases of inheritance) over them
(Qur’an 2:228)
This degree is not a title of supremacy or an authorization of dominance over her. It is to correspond with the extra responsibilities of man and give him some compensation for his unlimited liabilities. The above mentioned verse is always interpreted in the light of another (4:34).
It is these extra responsibilities that give man a degree over woman in some economic aspects. It is not a higher degree in humanity or in character. Nor is it a dominance of one over the other or suppression of one by the other. It is a distribution of God's abundance according to the needs of the nature of which God is the Maker. And He knows best what is good for woman and what is good for man. God is absolutely true when He declares:
O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, Who created you from a single person, and created of like nature his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. (Qur’an 4:1)
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